


Expecting

by Little_Miss_Numbers



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Accidental Pregnancy, Alien Culture, Alien Mythology/Religion, Away Missions, Bar Fight, Cravings, Drunken sex, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Leola Root, M/M, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, One Night Stand, forgotten hookup, overprotective Paris, warning: discussion of abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 19:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1700354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Miss_Numbers/pseuds/Little_Miss_Numbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chakotay suddenly finds himself pregnant, and it would be easier to deal with if Paris would just leave him alone long enough to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [Kimra](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimra/pseuds/Kimra) for letting me steal all her ideas whenever I got stuck on this thing and for all her help in general. And for reading it all the way through when I finished even though it's not one of her fandoms and encouraging me to post.

**week 3**

"Take us out, Mr Paris. Set a course for home." said Janeway.

Paris entered the commands gratefully, and the entire ship seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief as the ship pulled out of orbit around the Torrelian homeworld, fully supplied and ready for a long journey before they would need to stop again.

Not that the Torrelians had been bad hosts, or in the least bit antagonistic to Voyager or her crew, but Chakotay was certain in all the different cultures he'd studied, he had never met a race so dedicated to such strict and complex rules of propriety as the Torrelians.

They had just cleared the system when Chakotay felt it. A sudden lurch in his stomach, and Chakotay knew what was coming, if only because the same thing had been happening to him now for days. Chakotay covered his mouth, willing that nothing come out until he'd found a toilet, somehow managed an apology, and quickly rushed off towards the deck's Head.

Janeway hesitated only a moment before following after him. When she reached the closed door of the Head however, she suddenly found herself unsure of how to proceed. She opted for the chime, “Chakotay, it’s me.” and was relieved when the door opened a moment later.

Chakotay was inside, leaning back against the wall, looking disheveled and green, but otherwise alright. And even though he'd finished and cleaned up, the smell of stomach bile still filled the room. 

"Are you alright?"

"I think maybe I had a bad reaction to that Leola Root Broth Neelix served for lunch today." A joke, and it helped put Janeway back at ease.

"I know the stuff's not popular, but I can't say I've ever heard of it making anyone ill before." she said.

"Actually I've been a bit queasy after lunch for a few days now." admitted Chakotay. 

"Hmm, you might be coming down with something." said Janeway, leaning over and putting her hand against Chakotay's forehead. It didn't feel particularly warm, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. "You should get the doctor to have a look at you. If you picked up that nasty Torrelian flu, I wouldn't want it to spread to the rest of the bridge crew."

“Yes, ma’am.”

\---

“You say you’ve been nauseous, Commander?” Asked the doctor, running the tricorder over Chakotay.

“That’s right. Usually just after lunch time.”

“Any fatigue?”

“A bit.” Admitted Chakotay.

“Any excessive salivation? Or increased sensitivity to smells?”

“The second one.” Answered Chakotay. “At least it’s been seeming that way whenever I’ve been in the mess hall lately.”

”Hrmm.” The doctor frowned at his tricorder readings. “If you could lay down on the bed, Commander. I’d like to do a scan of your abdomen.”

Chakotay layed down and watched the scanner glide overtop of him and begin to hum.

“So, is it the Torrelian flu, Doctor?” 

The Doctor shook his head. “You’re not ill, Commander. You’re pregnant.”

\---

“But that’s impossible!” said Janeway. Her and Tuvok had been asked down, and Paris had appeared as well at some point for a duty shift and was running around, doing chores around the sickbay. “Human men can’t get pregnant. Not without undergoing aggressive therapy treatments.”

“I said the same thing.” Said Chakotay weakly from the bio bed. He was sitting up now, but still looking rather uneasy.

“I can only tell you what my instruments are showing, Captain, and in this instance they are most definitely reading a uterus, ovaries and a fetus in the very early stages of development. Come back in five weeks commander and I’ll even be able to tell you the sex.”

Chakotay blanched.

“Could your tricorder be mistaken?” Suggested Janeway.

“I did confirm the readings using the biobed scanner,” Replied the doctor. “The patient also appears to be suffering an acute case of nausea gravidarum.”

“Which is?” Asked Janeway.

“Morning sickness.” Chakotay supplied dryly. 

“Oh.” Janeway’s eyes widened as she pieced it together. “That...I guess that makes sense.” She frowned at her first officer. “But I still don’t understand how this is possible.”

“I know as much as you do.” said Chakotay.

“Have previous examinations ever revealed the presence of female organs before, Doctor?” Asked Tuvok. “Perhaps the Commander has some form of chimerism, for example.”

“I assure you Commander, if the solution was as simple as that, I would have found it.” The doctor replied stiffly. “All previous scans of Commander Chakotay have shown him to be one hundred percent male.”

“If we don’t know how can we at least figure out when?” Asked Janeway.

“That will be a bit tricky, Captain.” Answered the doctor. “Typically we would use the menstruation cycle to pinpoint the exact time of conception, but obviously that’s not an option here.” He looked back down at his readings. “An educated guess, however would probably put the time of conception somewhere between two to four weeks ago.”

“That would indicate that this happened after we made first contact with the Torrelians, Captain.”

Somewhere behind them, Paris’ back straightened. Though he never turned his gaze away from the biosamples he was categorizing. 

“Well we’re going to get to the bottom of this, Commander. Don’t worry.” Janeway reassured Chakotay, putting her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. “Tuvok, I want you to go through our censor logs over the last 3 weeks, see if you can find anything unusual that might begin to explain this. And I want you to run a ship wide diagnostic. And let me know if you find anything at all unusual or out of place.”

“Yes ma’am.” said Tuvok. And he walked off to go begin his work. 

“In the meantime, we need to figure out how we’re going to deal with this.” Said Janeway. 

“I believe that decision lies with Commander Chakotay.” said the Doctor curtly, turning to his patient. “You can choose to carry the child to term, or we can abort it. It’s up to you.”

Chakotay looked startled, and Janeway wondered if he’d considered either option before the Doctor laid it out for him.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” Asked Chakotay. “I think I still need to get my head around this.”

“Of course. This is an important decision; you’ll want to spend some time on it.” The doctor sounded almost nurturing. “Just let me know as soon as you’ve made up your mind.”

“I guess that’s all there is to it, then.” said Janeway. “Under different circumstances, I’d say congratulations are in order. But I think this time I’ll just say, whatever you decide, good luck.” She patted his shoulder one last time before following Tuvok out of sickbay.

"Am I free to go, Doctor?" Chakotay asked.

“There is one more thing.” said the Doctor, he was looking more serious than Chakotay was used to seeing him, “You should know before you make your decision, there are no guarantees. There are always risks with pregnancies, and without knowing how this happened, I can’t even know if we can expect that much.”

Chakotay nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“See that you do. The embryo isn’t the only thing I’m concerned about.”

\---

Paris found Chakotay the next day in the mess hall. Swirling whatever strange creation Neelix had cooked up for them today around on his plate. His attention obviously a few moons over at least.

“Hey, mind if I sit here?” He asked, grabbing the back of the opposite chair. 

Chakotay blinked as he forced his attention back into the room he was currently occupying and Paris in front of him. “No. Of course not.” 

“You doing OK? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“I’m wondering if I’ll be able to keep it down.” Chakotay poked his food with his fork. “I’m not sure I want to taste this once, let alone twice.”

Paris didn’t laugh. In fact the expression on his face seemed uncharacteristically serious. “You should eat.” he said. “You’ll just end up dry-heaving otherwise.”

Chakotay grimaced and looked uneasily at his plate.

“Come on." Paris encouraged him. “At least it’s not leola root.” 

“Please, don’t make me think of leola root when I’m trying to work up an appetite.”

Paris’ mouth twitched and Chakotay relaxed a bit as the tension eased off. 

“So um...have you decided what you’re going to do yet?” Paris absently glanced at Chakotay’s stomach and back up to his eyes again. “About, you know...”

Chakotay’s back straightened. Tension back. “No.” he answered coldly. 

Paris’ instincts told him he was probably better off to just drop the subject, but if there was a part of the brain that told people when to stop talking to keep out of trouble, he’d been born without it. “I guess I just don’t get what there is to think about.” he continued. “The doctor could fix this whole thing tomorrow if you asked him too. It’d be like it never happened.”

“No.” Chakotay’s voice was low, and his eyes dark. “I’d know. And if I rushed into a decision, just because I was afraid...” He stopped himself. Already feeling like he’d revealed more than he’d like to. “We don’t all run from our problems.” he said, lashing out at Tom instead. “And frankly, Lieutenant, I’m not sure how it’s any of your business, whatever I do.”

“The hell it’s not.” said Tom.

Chakotay was taken aback. “Yes, that’s right. The hell it’s not.” he repeated, his voice was dangerously calm. He leaned forward, and his voice was so quiet, Paris had to strain his ears to hear him. “This is my body, my child, my choice. And unless there’s sort of danger to the ship, that’s how it’s going to be.”

Paris straightened up and a look of realisation passed over him. “You don’t remember.” He whispered. “I’d just assumed...” He trailed off.

“Remember what? Lieutenant, if you know anything--”

“No.” Paris cut him off, "I don't know anything." He looked at though something was bothering him, but if it was he kept it to himself. "Look, I’ve got to go. Enjoy your lunch."

Chakotay blinked, not sure what had just happened. He tried to ignore the stares around him and eat whatever it was Neelix had put on his plate. But he only managed to poke it another two times before throwing his fork down and giving up entirely.

 

 

**Week 4**

Captain’s Log Supplemental: Despite an exhaustive search, and multiple scans Tuvok has been unable to find anything that might even begin to explain the mystery of our first officer’s condition. But we haven’t exhausted every lead and this certainly this isn’t a mystery we’re willing to give up on just yet.

In the mean time however sensors have located some sort of magnetic storm off our port bow. Though it’s unlike any we’ve ever seen. We’ve taken a short detour in order to get a few more scans and hopefully understand it a bit better before continuing on our way.

\---

“Captain on the bridge.”

Janeway didn’t acknowledge Kim’s announcement as she made her way back to her seat on the bridge. 

“Report, Commander.” she asked Chakotay.

"We've been following the storm at a distance of 500 km. It seems to be moving erratically, but is currently on a heading 00 maque 3."

"The storm's changed direction again." announced Kim. "It's coming straight for us."

"Full reverse, Mr Paris, warp 3."

"The storm's changed direction again, Captain. Now on a heading of 00 maque 8. Away from us." Said Kim.

"You weren't kidding about erratic." Commented Janeway.

Chakotay opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a sudden jolt from the ship. The lights flickered, and a few shut off completely.

"We're slowing down." reported Kim. "Warp 2. Warp 1...we're at impulse Captain."

"What just happened?" asked Janeway. "Did it hit us?"

"Sensors show the storm is continuing to move away from us at warp 1." Answered Tuvok. "It appears we were hit by a small discharge likely from the last time it switched direction."

"Damage report, Ensign."

"Replicators, warp drive and shields all appear to be offline." Answered Kim. "All other systems appear unaffected."

Janeway nodded. "Send a crew to investigate the damaged systems. I want warp operational again as soon as possible. Ensign Kim, don't lose sight of that storm. The moment it starts heading in our direction again I want to know."

"Captain, it may be beneficial to look for a place where we could wait out the storm until it passes."

Janeway nodded. "Do it."

"There's a class M planet in a system about half a parsec from here, Captain." said Kim. 

Janeway nodded. "Set a course Mr Paris, full impulse."

"Aye aye, Captain." answered Paris, inputting the new course.

"Torres to the bridge. Captain, can you come down here? We have a real problem."

\---

"What is it, Lieutenant?" Asked Janeway when she arrived in engineering. Half the engineering room had gone dark, and the warp core looked completely dead.

Torres brought Janeway over to a power cell they'd been analyzing. "That magnetic burst didn't just wipe out these power cells, they're completely dead."

"You can't you just recharge them?"

"No, that's what I mean." explained Torres. "They won't hold a charge at all anymore. I'd have better luck trying to use a potato then I would fixing these."

Janeway frowned. "You're saying you're going to have to completely replace them? I'd feel better if the replicators weren't knocked out too.”

Torres sighed. “Yeah, well it looks as though unless we find more necel batteries, we’re not going above impulse any time soon”

“Let’s hope this planet we’re heading for is technologically advanced.”

\---

“We’re just entering orbit around the fourth planet.” Chakotay filled Janeway in as she took her seat back on the bridge.

“Any sign of civilization?”

“We are being hailed, Captain.” Said Kim. 

Janeway raised an eyebrow at Chakotay. “On screen.” she said, as she and Chakotay stood up.

An alien face with bright green spots on the side of its face and equally green hair appeared on the view screen. He seemed to be an office building of some kind. “This is Ledo, foreign affairs minister to the planet Keena. Who is this?” He didn’t seem angry, rather, excited. And curious.

“I’m captain Kathryn Janeway. Of the federation starship Voyager.” Responded Janeway. “Some of our systems were damaged by a recent storm, and we need somewhere we can make repairs. With your permission of course, we’d like to do it here.”

Ledo’s face beamed. “Of course, of course. Would you like me to send coordinates to land?”

“Actually I thought we’d just beam a few of my crewmembers down. We can get to know each other--discuss trading options.”

Ledo’s eyes widened. “You mean like a transporter beam?”

Janeway smiled. “Yes. Send the coordinates you would like us to beam to and we’ll be right down.”

Ledo agreed and Janeway closed the the hail. “Alright, Commander, I want you, Tuvok, Paris and Torres to beam down. Your first priority is to find out if they’ve achieved warp drive yet. I don’t plan to violate the prime directive, even if they do seem aware of extraplanetary life. Otherwise we need necelle batteries and badly.”

“I understand, Captain.” said Chakotay. He hit his com badge. “B’elanna meet us in tranporter room 2.”

“Aye, Commander.”

Paris looked almost reluctant as he got up. “Er..Captain, should Chakotay be using the transporter, considering, you know...”

Chakotay stopped dead, while the rest of the bridge turned to look at him. Obviously confused by Paris’ statement. 

“It’ll be fine, Mr Paris.” Said Janeway, half amused. “No one’s breaking any safety regulations.” She elaborated without really giving anything away at all. “I already double checked.”

Chakotay caught ensign Takahashi cocking her head out of the corner of his eye and ensign Kim frowning confused from behind his console, and felt a burning sensation rise up his neck. He was going to strangle Paris when he had the chance. “Come on, let's go.” He snapped at the away team, turning back towards the turbolift. “Don’t just stand around, we have a mission.” The other officers quickly came back to life but they never stopped sneaking curious looks at Chakotay.

\---

When Chakotay’s team beamed down, they found themselves in a large hall, filled with sculptures, paintings, and large stain glass windows between each pillar that circled the room. The only thing missing was the Keenans. Except for the away team, the room was completely void of people.

“I’d say it’s a government building.” said Chakotay. “I’d even guess that’s a charter on the wall over there.”

“A logical assumption.” Tuvok agreed. “But that does not explain--” Tuvok stopped talking when he caught some movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see Minister Ledo poking his head out from behind one of the pillars. A few other Keenans poked out of the nearby pillars.

“Not so alone after all.” observed Chakotay. 

Paris shifted a bit so he was positioned defensively nearer between Ledo and Chakotay. Chakotay put his hand on Paris’ shoulder and whispered. “I think we’re safe.”

Sure enough Ledo’s expression shifted from uncertainty to a wide grin and he trotted over to Chakotay’s team. “It worked!” he cried. He looked over the group. “And you’re all together. And nobody’s inside out!”

The team looked at each other in confusion. “Inside out?” Asked Chakotay. “Why would we be inside out?”

Ledo looked embarrassed. “We only use transporters for inanimate objects.” Explained Ledo. “Any time we’ve tried transporting anything living, it tends to show up...well inside out.”

“And not usually exactly where we meant to send it.” Added in a female aid, with bright blue hair and spots.

From there Ledo and his assistants proceeded to give the away team a tour of the capital building, and happily shared tidbits about their history and culture as they went. While occasionally making a few inquiries about their visitors. 

They had taken a break, and the away team were by themselves on a high balcony overlooking the capital city while Ledo and his aides prepared for them to begin negotiations.

Chakotay, moved to the corner with Tuvok and tapped his combadge. “Chakotay to Voyager.”

“Janeway here. Report.”

“The Keenans are very hospitable hosts, Captain.” Said Chakotay. “We’re just about to begin trade negotiations.”

“So, are they warp capable?”

“Barely. They have the theoretical know-how, but they don’t seem to be able to consistently make it work. They’ve made a few test trips at warp 1, but they’ve only successfully managed once without any deaths.”

Janeway didn’t answer right away. “I don’t know if I’d feel right sharing technology with them.” She said. “But without replicators, we don’t exactly have spare supplies. I’m not sure what we could trade for necels.”

“If it makes any difference, Captain, they already seem to have a lot of similar technology. Transporters, replicators, even even holo emitters. They just tend to...break down more than ours do.”

“Even so.”

“If we decide to help these people, I think we’d be saving lives.” Chakotay went on. “The amount of accidents these people have, almost daily, from their technology not working properly is staggering.”

Tuvok cut in. “I must disagree with the Commander.” He said. “Whether it may save lives or not is irrelevant. We are still giving them an unfair advantage, and our actions could affect the balance of power in this region of space.”

Janeway was quiet while she considered that. “Nothing to do with space travel.” She said firmly. “See if you can help them with something that might cause a safety concern.”

“Understood, Captain. Chakotay out.”

\---

While Chakotay and Tuvok were talking with the captain, Torres and Paris sat on the other side of the balcony, looking out over the city. Well Torres was looking at the city, Paris was looking over in Chakotay’s direction, though his mind seemed like it was lightyears away.

“Hey, Starfleet. What’s so interesting over there?” asked Torres when she noticed. Paris didn‘t answer so she jostled his arm. “B'elanna hailing Tom. You there?”

Tom snapped back. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked you what you were staring at.” 

“Nothing.” Paris answered too fast.

A playful grin spread over Torres‘ face. “Really, because it looks to me like Chakotay.”

Paris’ ears twinged red. “I’m not allowed to say anything. Doctor/patient confidentiality.”

The smile fell off Torres’ face. “Wait, what? What’s wrong with Chakotay?” 

It suddenly occurred to Paris how that sounded. “Nothing. I swear.” he answered quickly. 

“He’s not sick is he? He’d tell me if he was sick.”

“I shoudn’t have said anything.” Groaned Paris. “It’s nothing B’elanna. Let it go.”

Torres eyed him, but kept quiet when she saw that Chakotay and Tuvok had finished their conversation and were walking back over.

\---

The negotiations afterwards were long and uneventful. Chakotay and Tuvok handled most of it, while Paris and Torres tried to look like they were paying attention except for the occasional times when one of their expertise was needed. Paris nearly fell asleep twice and Torres spent the bulk of her time there fiddling with her combadge when they weren’t asking her to answer some of the more technical questions.

Every once in a while Paris would catch Torres glancing curiously at Chakotay as he discussed some technical detail about possible trades with Ledo, and he’d push down a new wave of guilt. He huffed. This whole situation was insane and out of control, but at the very least he should be able to control himself a bit better. He cursed Voyager for teaching him to expect better of himself, Chakotay for being in this weird situation in the first place, the Torrelians for being where this whole thing had started, and finally he cursed these negotiations for giving him so much time for introspection when all he wanted to do was escape the whole thing and hide for a while. 

By the time they finished talking it was dark on the planet, and likely much much later on the ship. 

“We’ll finalize the deal tomorrow afternoon during council.” Said Ledo doing a strange bow with his head. The Keenan equivalent of a handshake, they’d discovered.

“Until then.” Said Chakotay copying his host. 

“And afterwards, as a celebration I would like to invite you all to a ceremonial dinner at my home." Said Ledo. “It’s tradition after trade deals like this that we celebrate. Whomever of your crew wants to come would be welcome.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Answered Chakotay. “Let me talk to our captain, and we’ll let you know tomorrow how many of us to expect.” He hit his combadge. “Voyager, 4 to beam up.”

\---

In the end it was decided that it would be appropriate for the senior officers to attend the dinner. With the exception of Torres who stayed behind to work on the battery and the Doctor who couldn’t eat anyways, and had lab reports he needed to catch up on.

The dinner took place in Ledo’s backyard. It was full of torches, and in the centre was a sort of cross between a stage and a gazebo and was filled with performers the entire night, from acrobats, to fire dancer, to musicians. Many high ranking members of the planet’s government were in attendance as well, including the chairman, and most of her senior council. 

“Your culture is so vibrant.” Janeway was telling the Chairman. “What’s going on now?” She was watching a group of dancers who had just begun their performance on stage.

“They’re retelling a famous event in our folklore.” Explained the chairman. She began to narrate as they went. “We believe that eons ago a great race lived on our planet with technology far superior even to ours today. They could do great things, they traveled the heavens, cured the sick, built great and powerful cities, and, according to some traditions, even conquered death itself. But as they grew more technologically advanced, they became estranged from the land that created them, and the gods that watched over them. They began to believe they needed neither. They began to believe they were gods themselves. The gods soon grew angry at the hubris of our ancestors. They had accomplished great things, certainly, but in the process had forgotten themselves and their roots. In order to teach them a lesson the gods sent a great storm down to the planet and wiped clean all their technology and all the electricity.”

“You’re kidding.” Said Janeway. Her eyes were wide with shock.

The chairman smiled. “It is only a story, captain. But it is a good reminder to us that while technological advancement can be good, it’s important that he not lose connection to the land. We must always strive to find that balance between our spiritual past and the modern challenges of our present.”

\---

A little ways away Paris and Chakotay were talking to Ledo. “I hope you two are enjoying yourselves.” said Ledo.

“It’s quite the party.” said Paris looking around. 

“Yes.” agreed Chakotay. “You’ve been very gracious hosts.”

“Trade is important to our people.” said Ledo. “We see it as more than mutual beneficiary agreements. We see a chance to forge new friendships, and as an opportunity to learn and understand new people and cultures.”

“We’re very honoured.” said Chakotay, diplomatically. 

Ledo was about to say something more when a small child with dark turquoise hair ran up and tugged on his skirt. “Daddy, daddy! Mahick isn’t letting me play!”

Ledo bent over and lifted the her up and held her sitting on his arm. “This is my daughter Chicha.” he explained. “My first born.” She bowed her head the same way her father did. 

Chakotay and Paris attempted to return it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chicha. I’m Chakotay, and this is my friend Tom Paris.”

“Those are weird names.” She turned to her father. “Where are their spots?”

Ledo grinned at his daughter as though she was more precious than latinum. “They’re aliens, Chicha.” he explained. “They don’t have spots where they’re from.”

Chicha looked back at the two men and examined them. “What’s that on your face?” she asked Chakotay.

“You mean my tattoo?” asked Chakotay.

“What’s a tattoo?”

“It’s body art. I wear it to honour my ancestors.”

Chicha frowned. “That’s weird.” she said.

Ledo set his daugher down. “Why don’t you run along.” he said. “Tell Machick I said he has to let you play too.”

Chicha ran off. 

“I’m sorry about that, Commander Chakotay.” Said Ledo. “Children can be rather...abrupt at times.”

But Chakotay didn’t look offended. In fact he had a very strange look in his eyes as he watched her run off. He turned back to Ledo and smiled. “Don’t worry about it. She was just curious.”

“Are you a father Chakotay?” asked Ledo.

Chakotay choked on his drink.

“No,” Paris answered for him. “Very few of us are parents. We don’t have a lot of families on our ship.”

“I understand. It must be hard to settle down when you travel the stars.” said Ledo. “If you’ll excuse me, I should attend to my other guests.”

After Ledo had left Paris turned to Chakotay. “Look at you.” he said. “I’ve never seen you look at anything the way you looked at that kid.”

Chakotay frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Paris shrugged. “I just mean, I didn’t know you had a soft spot for kids. That’s all.”

Chakotay’s expression softened. “I suppose I do.” he admitted. “Is that so odd?”

Paris shook his head. “I guess not.” 

Chakotay’s attention turned back to the kids who were playing some sort of tagging game nearby. The look on his face betrayed more than just a soft spot. “You want to know something, Tom? I’ve always wanted to be a father. And I always assumed I would be by now. But then I joined Starfleet, and I was moving around so often...and there was no way I could have justified starting a family once I joined the Maquis.”

Paris suddenly understood. “You really want to have that kid, don’t you.”

“I still don’t know.” said Chakotay. “Look at me. How is everyone going to react to having their first officer suddenly pregnant? And besides,” Chakotay’s voice suddenly grew quiet. “What if it doesn’t work? We don’t even know how this happened. There’s no guarantee I even can carry this child to term.” He shook his head and smiled--his way of communicating to Paris he knew he was being silly. But there was genuine fear in his eyes. Even in the torchlight, Paris could see that.

“But you still want to.” said Paris. It was a statement, not a question. He felt suddenly lightheaded at the realisation.

“Am I crazy?” asked Chakotay. He leaned against a nearby decorative pole, carved with strange animals he’d never seen before. “For even considering this?”

“Yeah.” answered Paris. “I’d say so.” 

Chakotay raised an eyebrow in surprise. Paris continued. “But I mean, the whole situation is nuts, right?” he added. “I think anything you do is going to be crazy in some way.” He smiled conspiratorially at Chakotay and winked.

Chakotay smirked. “Thanks, Tom.” His focus moved off of Tom and over the kids playing nearby. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Shoot.” 

“If it was you. Instead of me. What would you do?”

Paris didn‘t even think about it. “I’d get rid of it at warp speed.” Chakotay looked surprised but Paris just shrugged. “I’m not father material.” he said. “Trust me, any kid is better off not existing in the first place then to be stuck with me as a parent.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Yeah, well, f you’d had parents like mine, you wouldn’t exactly be eager to try it yourself either.” he said. Suddenly he didn’t want to be here, thinking about this anymore. “You know, it’s late.” he said forcing out a yawn. “I think I’m gonna turn in. You have a nice night.”

\---

Paris was sound asleep when Commander Chakotay sent out a hail calling all senior officers to the bridge. “Computer, what time is it?” asked Paris.

“The time is zero-two-hundred hours and eleven minutes.” answered the computer. 

Paris groaned. He felt a bit better when he reached the conference room and everyone looked just as tired as he felt. Though he felt an uncomfortable surge of protectiveness rise up in him when he saw Chakotay yawn,and the obvious bags under his eyes. He was pregnant, should he be asked to push himself like this? Chakotay caught the look on his face and raised a pair of questioning eyebrows. Paris sheepishly sat down and focused his attention on the Captain. 

Janeway launched into the legend related to her earlier that evening by the Chairman. “Sound like any phenomenon we’ve come across recently?” she asked the room.

“It does seem a rather extraordinary coincidence.” conceded Tuvok. 

“Which means we’re likely not as safe here as we thought.” said Kim.

“It does seem reasonable to assume that if the Keenans have had time to rebuild their civilization since the last time the storm hit, it likely does not come this way very often.” reasoned Tuvok.

“I would think we would be safer on the planet than off of it.” added Chakotay. “At least if we’re hit here, we won’t be dead in space.”

“I can think of worse people to be stuck with for a while than the Keenan’s.” said Paris. 

“Speak for yourself.” sniffed the Doctor. “I’d rather not think about what might happen to me if my portable emitter was hit.”

“With luck we’ll have those necels up and running before it’s even an issue.” Janeway turned to Torres. “What’s their status?”

“Not great, Captain.” answered Torres. “Even considering the time it’s taking to adapt them to our systems, we’ve had to inspect each one with a fine tooth comb before we can do anything with them. Half of them have already have been defective in some way.”

Janeway rubbed her temple. “Work as fast as you can, Lieutenant.” she said. “I don’t want to be dead in the water if that storm decides to make a detour for us. Work around the clock if you have to.”

“Aye Captain.”

“Now the real question I want to ask is, do we tell the Keenans?”

“Telling the Keenans could be considered a violation of the prime directive.” Tuvok pointed out.

“I think we should tell them.” said Chakotay. “It’s not the same thing as giving them technology. We’re warning them about a natural disaster that could wipe out their entire civilization.”

“Can we just tell them and walk away?” asked Kim. “We’d be leaving them defenseless.”

“We’re not exactly equipped to handle it ourselves.” said Chakotay. “But if they know, they could at least prepare. The storm seems harmless to people. They’d just need to make sure they weren’t relying too much on any electronic technology.” 

“I think if I were a Keenan I wouldn’t want to be dependent on anything they built.” quipped Paris, stifling a yawn. 

“Then it’s decided.” said Janeway. “We’ll tell them first thing in the morning. To bed everyone."

\---

At Janeway’s request, the Chairman agreed to meet with her for a private council.

“Are you sure?” asked the Chairman, after Janeway had explained the situation to her. 

“It seems likely.” said Janeway. “These storms seem to be native to your system. We’ve never seen anything like them before. We can even tell you how to track them if you like.”

The chairman stood up and walked over to the office window which overlooked the city. “I believe what you’re telling me Captain.” she said. “But I’m also not a very religious woman. I’m not sure how my people would respond to being told one of our greatest religious tales was a simple magnetic storm.”

“You can do what you like, Chairman.” said Janeway. “We just thought you might appreciate some warning. Maybe you could prepare, or start figuring out a way to protect yourselves.”

“I’m afraid that our main method of protecting ourselves from the storm for the past two millennia has been our steadfast attention to ritual and religious rites.” The Chairman smiled sheepishly. Silently begging Janeway not to think her people too simple.

“Do you really foresee such staunch opposition to the idea?” asked Janeway. “A single scientific phenomenon should hardly be enough to destroy a whole system of faith.”

“Among most it won’t, be.” explained the Chairman. “But there’s been a recent resurgence of radicalism on our planet. They interpret everything literally, and teach through fear rather than compassion. I worry we might find resistance to the idea.”

“Sounds like certain parts of my own planet’s history.” Janeway sympathized.

“Captain, how much longer will you be in orbit?” 

“That depends on my chief engineer and how fast she can adapt your batteries to our engines. We also need to get our warp core back online. She estimates another four days. Why?” 

“Understand, Captain Janeway, that I have the upmost respect for you and your crew. And I think very highly of you especially. But I think you should probably leave as soon as possible. I can’t predict how some of the more extremist sects will react when they hear what you have to say.”

Janeway nodded. “I understand.” she said.

\---

As per the chairman’s recommendations, Janeway cancelled shore leave and ordered that no crew members were to beam down to the planet without her authorization. Two days passed where they remained in orbit around the planet, with just a few standard communications between them and the planet. So far nothing to indicate any problems, but they couldn’t access their media, and they had very little to go on in general that might indicate any problems at all. It was all making Janeway very uneasy.

The door to the bridge slipped open, and Chakotay walked in from the direction of the deck’s Head. Looking very pale and a bit embarrassed.

“Right on time, Commander.” teased Janeway. 

“Surely the doctor could give me something for the nausea.” he grimaced as he retook his seat.

“My grandmother always used to recommend ginger tea to settle your stomach in cases like this.” suggested Janeway.

Chakotay thought about it. “It can’t hurt, I suppose.”

“Well best of luck. It made my aunt sick as a dog.”

Kim cut in. “Captain, the Keenans are hailing us. It’s Minister Ledo.”

“On screen.” said Janeway.

Ledo’s green head appeared on the view screen. 

“We understand you plan to leave tomorrow.” He said.

“That’s right.” answered Janeway. 

“We were hoping to invite you to a farewell dinner.” he said. “Similar to our end of trades celebration.”

“We’d be honoured.” answered Janeway. 

Ledo’s face broke into a wide smile. “Excellent.” he said. “I’ll send the details. Until then.”

“I’ll say this about the Keenans.” said Paris after the viewscreen went blank. “They’re certainly hospitable.”

\---

In the end it was decided that Chakotay, Tuvok, Paris and Kim and Neelix would beam down. Senior staff only, in case of problems, while Seven, Janeway and Torres continued working on the necel batteries.

The away team beamed to the same spot they did for the last dinner, as per Ledo’s instructions, but all the pomp and fanfare they had seen the other night was gone. Instead it was just an empty yard.

Chakotay hit his combadge. “Confirm coordinates, Voyager.”

“Coordinates confirmed.” answered the transporter officer.

“You’re sure you didn’t get them mixed up with the ones from the other night?”

There was a brief pause while the transporter officer double checked. “They’re the same coordinates, Commander.”

“Close the hail.” It was Ledo’s voice, coming from somewhere behind them. “And hands up.” Chakotay tapped his combadge and raised his arms just as he felt something circular and metallic press into his neck. 

Chakotay tried to turn around, but someone grabbed him and held him in place. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“Inside.” Yelled Ledo and whoever was holding them pushed them forwards towards the house. “I have somewhere to put them for the time being.”

\---

None of the Keenans spoke to the away team, despite numerous questions and complaints. They were pushed into the house and down a long set of stairs into what seemed like a workshop area. Complete with a rounded metal workbench and various tools and parts lying around.

“Put them up against the wall.” said Ledo. “And take those brooches. It’s what they use to contact their ship. Then search them, check for weapons.”

The team was lined up against the far wall, their combadges were taken off, and their phasers and tricorders were discovered and confiscated. They could see their captors now, a very mixed group of upset looking Keenans all holding metal weapons.

“Ledo.” Chakotay tried to appeal to the man he thought he had come to know somewhat since their arrival at the planet. Look into his eyes, and connect with him. But Ledo avoided his gaze. “What’s going on, Minister?”

“Handcuff them.” he said. And the Keenans who were handling them passed around a set of plastic circles that tightened around their wrists and pulled together like a magnet. 

“Alright.” said Ledo, and the Keenans all took a few steps back. At no point did the ones in the back stop training their weapons on the Voyager crew. Ledo walked over to a small white poll, one of four standing erect around them, and hit a switch. A forcefield shot out and began to hum. “That should prevent a beam out.” he said. He turned to Chakotay. Looking at him for the first time since they’d arrived. Though Chakotay noticed he still wasn’t meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry, Commander.” he said. “It’s what must be done.”

“We don’t understand.” said Chakotay.

“No.” Said Ledo shaking his head. He looked manic. “No, you wouldn’t.” He turned to a young female Keenan with dark mauve hair and spots. “You take the first watch. And let us know if they try anything.”

All the Keenans except the young woman left. She sat on a nearby chair and watched them. 

“This is insane.” Paris yelled out to the woman who was still there. “What’s going on?”

The woman frowned and said something to them but it all came out as gibberish. Neelix tried to answer her, but the same thing happened. The away team looked nervously at each other.

“They took our com badges.” Kim explained. “We’ve lost the universal translator.”

\---

“Captain, I can’t get a lock on them.” The bridge officer called over the ships com link. “I tried to beam them up from their com signals, but I just got their com badges.”

“Keep trying, ensign.” Ordered Janeway. 

She turned her attention to Ensign Takahashi who was at the con. “Any luck hailing the chairman?” she asked. 

“Her assistant just keeps telling me to standby. She’s in a meeting, Captain.”

Janeway sighed. “I’ll be in my ready room. Keep trying to get through, Ensign. And let me know the second the Chairman is available.”

\---

Ensign Takahashi hailed Janeway a few minutes later.

“Is the chairman ready, ensign?”

“No captain, but the magnetic storm has started moving in this direction. At it’s current speed, it will hit the planet in 23 hours.”

“Thank you ensign.” said the Janeway. “Keep an eye on it, let me know the second there’s a change.” She turned off the com link and opened a new one. “Janeway to Torres. How’s it going?”

“We should have replicators back on in a few hours.” She said. “The warp coils are powered again, but we still won’t be warp capable again until tomorrow morning.”

“I just got word the storm is heading this way. At it’s current speed we should be OK, but I want you to make getting our warp engines back online your top priority just in case.” 

“Understood captain. Torres out.”

\---

“You know, ironically, I think they’re using the forcefield specs we gave them to keep it stable.” said Kim.

“Somehow I don’t find that very comforting, Ensign.” answered Chakotay.

“It could help us to get free if we know the phase variables, Commander.” Tuvok pointed out. 

“And then what?” asked Chakotay. 

“Find our com badges.” said Paris. “Or try and find some authorities, and pray that Ledo is acting alone.”

“If we can even figure a way out.” pointed out Kim. “Without even our tricorders, it doesn’t look good.”

“What do you think they plan to do to us?” asked Paris. “I mean, this makes absolutely no sense.”

“The Captain said the Chairman was worried about religious fanatics reacting to our warning.” said Chakotay. “Do you think Ledo might be one of them?”

“But what good does kidnapping us do?” asked Kim. 

Chakotay thought about it for a few seconds. “I have no idea.”

\---

“Captain, the Chairman is available.” called Ensign Takahashi.

“Patch it to my ready room, Ensign.” replied Janeway, turning on her personal view screen. The screen lit up and the Chairman appeared on the other side looking frazzled and worried.

“Janeway. It’s good to see you.” she said.

“Chairman, what’s going on?” asked Janeway. “My people beamed down to your planet two hours ago at your minister’s request. We’ve completely lost contact with them.”

“I know.” said the Chairman. “I promise you, Captain, I had nothing to do with it. And we’re working round the clock to find them, but we’ve had no luck.”

“Chairman, I don’t understand.”

The Chairman looked pained. “Ledo belongs to a very extreme sect. One that didn’t react particularly well to what you had to say. I didn’t even know. He arranged all of this entirely without my knowledge.”

“So he has them somewhere.”

“We believe so.”

“Why?” asked Janeway.

“I imagine you’ve seen the magnetic storm on its way.” said the Chairman.

“Yes,” answered the Janeway. “It’s the other reason I wanted to speak to you.”

“Ledo and his sect believe that it’s coming because the Gods are mad at us for denying them.” she explained. 

“Alright. But I’m still not sure I follow.”

“I’m afraid that they believe that the only way to show the Gods that they’re still loyal is to kill ‘the false messengers.’”

Janeways eyes widened.

The Chairman nodded. “I assure you Captain, what they are doing is extremely illegal. And we will do everything within our power to find your people before anything happens to them.”

“Should I come down?”

“I really don’t think that would be wise.” said the Chairman, looking nervously towards her window. “But I’ll keep you informed via one of my aides as soon as there's any updates. And feel free to keep doing whatever you can with those transporters of yours.”

“Thank you, Chairman.” said Janeway, and closed the transmission.

\---

When the team woke up, it was still dark outside. Though probably early morning on the ship. There was a new guard present, an old man with grey wispy hair and violet spots. He was wide awake and glaring at them menacingly.

“Friendly chap, isn’t he?” said Paris.

“Well he doesn’t like us.” agreed Chakotay. “So any ideas?”

“That looks like a metaphasic resonator over there.” said Kim, looking at a small tool sitting by the guard’s shoe. “If I could somehow get a hold of it, I could use it to reverse the polarity on the forcefield and get us out.”

“That’s a pretty big if, ensign.” said Chakotay. “But I’m glad you’re thinking.”

“Not really a whole lot else to do in here.” said Paris.

\---

It was early morning when the away team saw their chance. The plan was simple, wait until they were fed (assuming they were going to be fed of course) and rush the guard as soon as the forcefield was down. If Kim could get the metaphasic inverter, he could disable the forcefield permanently and from there Voyager should could find them and beam them away.

It was Ledo who arrived shortly after, with something resembling food. He was flanked by two guards who both had their weapons trained carefully on the away team. They were ready for this, if they were quick enough, they should make it before the weapons went off. But before the forcefield went down, the door opened again and Chicha poked her head in. Chakotay froze.

Ledo let her bring down the forcefield, and the team stilled themselves waiting for Chakotay’s order. But he never gave it. The forcefield went back up, and they were no closer to getting free.

“I’m sorry.” he said, staring wide eyed at the little girl who was now in Ledo’s arms. “I coudn’t do it.”

“Don’t worry about it, Commander.” Said Paris, following his eyes with a look of disgust to match Chakotay’s shock. “I think I understand.”

\---

“Ensign Takahashi, Report!” ordered Janeway as she entered the bridge. “Ensign Yule reports momentarily seeing their signatures, but they were gone again just as quickly. They only registered for a second, Captain.”

“When was this?”

“O eleven hundred, ma’am.” 

“Well at least they’re still alive.” She said. “Keep scanning. Let me know if they pop up again. Any word from the chairman?”

“She reports that they are still searching, captain. But sacrifices typically take place in the early evening, so we should still have time.”

\---

It was mid morning on the planet now, but it must have been just after lunch on Voyager because Chakotay was feeling a familiar lurch in his stomach. Without anywhere to go, he chose a corner of the forcefield and started wrenching.

Paris was beside him first, rubbing his back, somewhat awkwardly with the handcuffs. “Woah, Chakotay.” he said. “Don’t try and hold it in. It won’t do any good.”

“Commander, are you ill?” asked Kim when he’d finished. Neelix said something too, but it was incomprehensible in his native Talaxian. 

“It’s nothing, Ensign.” said Chakotay, looking uncomfortably at what had been their breakfast, and ignoring a rising burning sensation in the back of his neck. “I’m fine.” he turned to the guard. “Hey, a little help here? Maybe something to clean this up with?”

But the guard, now a middle aged and balding man, with yellow hair and spots, seemed indifferent. 

“I guess we’ll just have to avoid it.” said Paris looking uneasily at the growing puddle. “I hope we’re not in here much longer.”

\---

Mid afternoon, Ledo returned, with a similarly large group to the one that ambushed them. He said something in his native language and the group surrounded the away team, weapons up. They released the forcefield.

Ledo said something, obviously expecting them to do something. They looked nervously at each other, hoping someone knew what he wanted. Ledo repeated himself.

“We can’t understand you.” said Chakotay. 

Ledo seemed to understand. He changed his focus from them to his people, and suddenly they found themselves being guided by the guards with the weapons back up the stairs.

\---

“Captain.” called Ensign Takahashi. “We have them again.”

“Can you lock on to them with the transporter?” Asked Janeway. 

“Negative.” Said Takahashi. “The storm is too close, it’s interfering with our locking mechanism. If we could just pinpoint their location, we could probably grab them, but all the sensors can tell us is that they’re somewhere on the planet.”

“How close is the storm, Ensign?” 

“At the rate it’s currently moving, it should hit us in just under 2 hours.”

“I’d really rather not be here when that happens. Keep trying to lock on, and beam them back here if you can. I’m going to look for other options.”

\---

The away team was led back out to Ledo’s backyard. It looked much more ceremonial than it had the last two times they had seen it. With fetishes and specially arranged plants and rocks around, the stage/gazebo had been specially decorated, and Ledo and all his people, including the children, were wearing strange ceremonial robes.

A woman with dark blue hair and spots walked onto the stage, and began a chant. And the other Keenans would occasionally say something in unison along with her. When she finished she pulled a satchel and began to pour handful of white sand around the stage. Finally she turned her attention to the away team. She said something else, and a young man walked up to her and handed her a large jagged dagger. She said something and they went to grab someone from the away team.

Chakotay, as the leader stepped up. “Whatever you’re going to do you can do it to me.” he said.

Paris tried to block him. “Commander!”

Chakotay pushed him aside. “Listen, Lieutenant. I don’t know where this new chivalrous streak of yours came from, but I don’t like it. Understand?” Paris looked as though someone had slapped him, but he got out of Chakotay's way. Chakotay moved forward, and made sure the Keenans grabbed him.

They forced him up onto the stage, and onto his knees, with his head pointed down. As they dragged him down, Chakotay took one last look at Chicha, standing near the front, with other young children around her age. All watching with a mix of curiosity and impassivity. The away team could only watch in horror at weapon point while the Priestess continued with the ritual. Finally she raised the knife and looked like she was about to bring it down when a loud whistle interrupted the ceremony. 

Suddenly the area was filled with Keenans dressed in some kind of uniform, and they were grabbing the ceremonial Keenans and restraining them with similar handcuffs to the ones they’d used on the away team. 

The away team had no idea what the uniformed Keenans were saying to them. But they were all smiles nonetheless. Suddenly they felt the familiar sensation of a transporter beam and it was all a million miles away.

“Am I happy to see you.” said Janeway, as the senior officers all walked back onto the bridge.

“I don’t care where you go, Mr Paris, but I want you to go at warp nine, and avoid that storm with all you’ve got.”

“Captain, the Keenans are hailing us.” Said Kim.

“On screen.”

The chairman’s face filled the view screen in front of them. 

“I owe you a great deal, Chairman.” said Janeway. “I only wish there was something we could do about the storm.”

“Don’t worry.” said the Chairman. “After the events of today, I’m not sure my people are ready yet to be travelling to the stars. Besides, a planet without technology might even be a safer one. For us anyways.”

“I understand, Chairman.” Said Janeway. “I don’t envy the road you have coming ahead of you. Do you wish us to come back when it’s safe?”

“No Captain. I think we’ll manage. This has happened to us a few times before. We always seem to bounce back.”

Janeway nodded. And the viewer went off.

“The storm will impact the Keenan homeworld in approximately fifteen minutes, Captain.” said Tuvok

“Alright, I get it. Engage, Mr Paris.”

“Aye aye Captain.”

Voyager flew off. Just in time to see the Keenan planet engulfed by the storm.

\---

Chakotay walked into the sick bay. He was relieved to see Paris wasn’t on duty. “Doctor?”

The Doctor materialized behind him. “Please state the nature of the medical emergency.”

“You told me to come back when I’ve decided.” Said Chakotay. 

“And what have we decided?” Asked the doctor motioning him to a bio bed and pulling out a tricorder. 

“Yes, I’m going to keep it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**7 weeks**

It was early morning and members of the ship’s crew were just beginning to wander into the messhall for breakfast. Neelix was frying some kind of weird spotted egg when Chakotay appeared at the counter. 

“Can I make a request?” 

“Of course.” Neelix answered cheerfully. “What yens can I help satisfy this morning?”

“I’d love a jibalian seven spiced omelette. With some chocolate sauce, and bantan.” Chakotay had a hungry look. “And a glass of traggle nectar mixed with orange juice.”

“That sounds very...strong, Commander.” said Neelix. “I’ll whip it right up.”

“Thanks Neelix. I’ve been in the mood for something sweet for a few days now.”

“That’s certainly one way to describe it.” Neelix tilted his head a bit and cringed at the smell as he added the bantan.

\---

“I’m telling you something’s wrong.” Kim whispered. He was in a mixed group, at a nearby table, with Torres, ensign Takahashi and Crewman Hars, a Bolian inlisted man from engineering. “He’s been throwing up most afternoons on the bridge.”

“He’s throwing up?” asked Hars. “How do you know?”

“I saw him do it when we got kidnapped by the Keenans.” explained Kim in a low voice. “He just got sick suddenly. He was completely fine just a few minutes earlier. That’s not normal, right? What would cause that?”

“There’s more to it then that.” whispered Torres. “I caught Tom giving him a funny look the other day. When I asked him what was up he said he wasn’t allowed to say anything. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“The captain’s been joking about it with him too.” said Takahashi. “She likes to tease him when he comes back from the Head.”

“Maybe it’s not a big deal then.” suggested Hars. “I mean, if people are teasing him.”

“But it’s dammed strange.” said Kim.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on here?” Kim turned around to see Paris pulling over a chair and joining the group. 

Nobody would make eye contact. Though Paris caught Takahashi glancing briefly at Chakotay a few tables over. 

“Are you kidding me? You’re all gossiping?” he asked. He turned to Torres. “I thought I told you to drop it.”

Torres put her hands up in defense. “Hey, I didn’t start this.”

“I did.” said Kim. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing that’s any concern to any of you.” answered Paris, picking up tray and getting up. “I’ll see you guys around, I suggest you let this go.” he went over to join Chakotay.

“Yeah.” said Takahashi, popping and algae ball into her mouth and watching Paris walk off. “He definitely knows something.”

\---

“Oh God, what are you eating? I could smell it two tables away.” Asked Paris, sitting down across from him.

“An omelette.” Chakotay managed between bites. “I had Neelix make it up special.” He took another bite. “It’s weird, but I’ve been wanting this since I woke up this morning.” Paris tried to stiffle a smirk as he started in on his own breakfast.

“What?” 

“Nothing.” said Paris quickly, focusing on his own food.

“That wasn’t nothing, Lieutenant.” Said Chakotay. “Out with it.”

“It’s just, I didn’t think cravings would start this early.”

Chakotay frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t tell me you’d eat that normally.” Said Paris. “No way does bantan, chocolate and jibillian berries ever go together.”

“The bantan brings out the sweetness of the chocolate and the berries.” Said Chacotay.

Paris shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Well it’s not cravings.” insisted Chakotay finishing up. “I was just in a mood.”

“Sure thing, Commander.” grinned Paris.

Chakotay just shook his head.

\---

Janeway was sitting in her ready room, nursing a cup of coffee while she listened to Tuvok give yet another inconclusive report on his search to figure out what had been dubbed the Chakotay Mystery.

“We may have to consider the possibility that whatever caused this phenomenon wasn’t picked up by any of our censors.”

Janeway sighed. “You’re right of course, Tuvok.” she agreed looking over the pad with Tuvok’s report on it. “But I’m not sure I’m willing to give up just yet. We’ve looked for any leads between the time of conception and when we discovered it, but maybe whatever caused this happened even further back.”

“That is rather unlikely. Unless Commander Chakotay has been pregnant longer than we realised.”

“Also a possibility, Commander.” Janeway pointed out. 

“I will look into it.”

“Is there anything else Commander?” asked Janeway. 

“One other item. We are nearing the end of the maps we procured from the Torrelians. In another 3 days, we will no longer have any information about the inhabitants of the space we are entering.”

Janeway nodded. “That’s rather serious.” She said. “I’d hoped their maps would have lasted us a bit longer than that.”

“Agreed, Captain. We shall have to find another one as soon as possible.”

“Keep an eye out for any kind of outposts or stations. Let me know as soon as you find anything.”

\---

Chakotay was sitting at the desk of his office going over personnel reports when he heard the chime. “Come in.”

The door opened and Tuvok walked in. “Commander.” He said as way of greeting.

“Commander.” Chakotay put the pad down and turned to Tuvok. “What can I do for you?”

“We have decided to expand our search for the cause of your condition.” Tuvok began to explain.

“Condition? Tuvok it’s not a disease.” 

“As you say, sir.” said Tuvok indifferent. “As I was saying, we would like to expand our search. However before doing so, I thought I might ask you one last time if you are sure you don’t remember anything unusual while we were with the Torrelians.”

Chakotay sighed. “I really don’t. And except for that misunderstanding over that drink of theirs my memory of the entire time is pretty clear. A few diplomatic functions, some time spent negotiating, I only managed to make it down to the planet once.”

“If you remember anything...”

“I know.” Said Chakotay. “Trust me, you’ll be the first to know.”

\---

Janeway was sitting on the bridge, going over log entries from the panel beside her chair. She wasn’t looking at anything indepth, just the date and enough to remind herself what happened that day. That holodeck incident with Tuvok and Paris; That old friend of Neelix’s on the space station; Those macro viruses; Janeway shuddered at the last one. Had they seen Q that recently? It had been so nice and peaceful since he’d been gone.

Wait, Q...

Janeway paced her ready room for twenty minutes, going back and forth over the situation. It was a hunch. What if she was wrong? Could she risk another ordeal with Q over this? On the other hand, what if it was something he had done? Could she risk never finding out?

She walked over to the replicator and ordered a coffee and sat on her couch and began sipping. “This is a mistake.” she muttered to herself. Then louder she said “Q?”

Nothing.

She felt a bit foolish. Of course he wouldn’t just come because someone randomly called his name. Maybe this train of thought would fizzle out where it began. Still, she thought, it wouldn’t hurt to try one more time.

“Q, I want to talk to you.” she called again. The stillness of the room was claustrophobic. Janeway sighed, half relieved, half disappointed, and picked up the copy of the crew manifest Chakotay had given her. She had barely read through the first line when a sudden bright light appeared. She looked up, and sitting across from her in a fitted captain’s uniform was none other than Q himself.

“You came.”

“You called.” answered Q brightly. 

Janeway steeled herself. It was important to be very careful, and very clear when dealing with a being like Q. “I want to ask you about an incident on my ship I think you might have had something to do with.” she explained carefully.

Q’s eyes twinkled, and he leaned forward. Janeway’s hunch suddenly felt a bit more tangible. “Oh do go on.” he said.

“Do you know why my first officer is pregnant?”

Q’s face broke into a wide grin. “I was hoping that was what you were going to ask.” He grinned. “It certainly took you long enough. But I should leave the chastising until later. This is a time to celebrate!” He snapped his fingers and a cigar suddenly appeared in her mouth and Q’s hand. “Congratulations Kathryn! You’re going to be be a father!”

Janeway pulled the cigar out of her mouth and tried not to gag over the taste of tobacco. “You’re saying I’m the father?” 

“Well who else would it be?” 

“Q, I’m afraid I don’t understand.” 

“Oh Kathy.” Q clucked at her like she was some kind of cute pet. “I’ve been so happy since the last time we met. Having a baby with Q was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I owe you for that, you know. So I started thinking, you see I understand why you didn’t want to have a baby with me.”

Janeway raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” 

“I know your type. You’re a career woman. Modern, independent. And babies are just so much time and work. The long pregnancy, the labour, the feedings.”

“And that was the only reason?” Janeway asked dryly.

“What else could it be?” Janeway rolled her eyes, but Q ignored it. “So I thought I would handle that part for you.” He waved his hand. “Don’t worry you can thank me for it later.”

“So you impregnated my first officer with my DNA!?”

Q shook his head. “Oh no, Kathy. You did that all on your own. When you two finally managed to do the deed as it were.” He leaned forward, resting his chin eagerly on his fist. “You must tell me all about it. Spare no sordid details.”

Janeway’s eyes widened as she pieced together what Q was telling her. “Q,” She spoke slowly and clearly, so as not to be misunderstood. “I never had sex with Chakotay.”

“What!?” Q looked positively scandalized. “Well we won’t be needing these.” He snapped his finger and the cigars disappeared. He stood up and begun pacing. “It appears something has gone horribly wrong.” He snapped his fingers again and Chakotay appeared on the couch beside Janeway, sipping tea and reading a data padd. 

He looked up, a bit disoriented, until he caught sight of Q glaring at him from across the room. “Q!” He turned to Janeway. “What’s going on?”

“I believe we’ve figured the mystery of your pregnancy, Commander.” explained Janeway, nodding over to Q.

Q continued to glare.“I can’t believe you’d break poor Kathy’s heart like this.”

“My heart’s not broken.” Janeway reassured Chakotay.

Q crossed the room to Chakotay, and leaned towards him and began interrogating him. “So who is she, anyways? Seeing someone else on the side? Some hussie you met at a Starbase?”

Chakotay looked blankly at Janeway. “Captain, I don't understand.”

“I think the father of your child is someone you had sex with.” Janeway explained. She glanced over at Q to make sure she had understood correctly. Chakotay opened his mouth to respond but Janeway stopped him. “--But, whoever it is is none of our business.” she added while looking warningly at Q as she spoke.

“But Captain,” said Chakotay. “I haven’t had sex with anybody. Not for months.”

“Oh ho ho ho, you most certainly have.” Said Q, still refusing to leave the Commander’s personal space. “I was very specific in how I worked this. Any type of sex will work, but there was most definitely sex involved.”

“Captain, I swear--”

Q stood up, as a look of dawning realisation came over his face. “You really believe that, don’t you?” 

“It’s only been 7 or 8 weeks. I think I would remember.” Chakotay said to Janeway.

“Are you sure?” asked Janeway. “What were you doing 7 weeks ago? It would have been during the Torrelian trades.”

“I spent those entire three weeks just trying to keep ahead of all their inane proprietary rules.” answered Chakotay thinking back to the stress of those conferences. Then a thought occurred to him, “Except..” His heart skipped a beat. The same thought seemed to have occurred to Janeway because her eyes widened right along with his.

“Excuse me?” butted in Q not used to being ignored for so long. “Someone want to fill me in on this little discovery of yours?”

“Except when you were inebriated at that conference...” said Janeway in a hushed voice.

“He got drunk?” asked Q, obviously delighted at the thought. “I would have liked to have seen that. If you ask me, you could stand to let loose every once in a while.”

“It was a misunderstanding.” explained Janeway. “We didn’t realise it was alcoholic to us.”

“I blacked out.” said Chakotay, pointedly ignoring Q and speaking directly to Janeway. “I don’t know what happened that night.”

“I have to say.” said Q. “This is even better than I could have predicted. Oh Kathy, tell me you were drunk too.”

“I was not.” Q pouted. Janeway turned to Chakotay, a bit more concerned. “Do you have any idea who the father could be?” she asked.

Chakotay shook his head blankly.

“Oh this is wonderful.” said Q. “Better than my original plan, almost.” A look of delight danced across his eyes. “Why it could be anybody." A look of glee suddenly spread across his face. “It could be a Torrelian.”

Chakotay went pale. Torrelians weren’t exactly an attractive species. He caught himself wondering if their extreme fussiness was genetic or cultural.

“But surely you could find out, Q.” said Janeway. “All those powers, how hard could it be to simply peak and see whose DNA it is?”

“But why would I do that, when this is so much more fun?” Q grinned. “Good luck, Chuckles, I’ll be watching." And with that he vanished in a flash light.

“Well, it looks like we’ve just replaced one mystery with another.” said Janeway. “Maybe you should stop off in sickbay. See if the Doctor can do a paternity test.”

“Right.” 

Chakotay stood up and moved to leave, but Janeway called him back before he reached the door. “Chakotay!” She called, holding something out to him. “Don’t forget your padd.’

\---

The recent incident in Janeway’s ready room played over and over again in Chakotay’s mind. On one hand, despite the antagonism from Q during the conversation, he was mostly relieved. At least now he knew how and why, and he knew it was a normal baby, and a normal pregnancy. Well, normalcy being relative, of course. But both the baby and him were safe. But now there was the matter of the father. The father who could apparently be anyone on the ship, or off if it really was a Torrelian. He decided to follow Janeway’s advice, and made his way to sickbay.

“So can you do a paternity test?” He asked the Doctor after explaining what he could.

The Doctor considered his response “I could very easily after the baby is born.” He explained. “I could still do it now, but I would need to extract some of the child’s DNA, which I’m not sure I’d like to do at such an early stage--” The Doctor was interrupted when the sickbay doors opened and Paris came running in. 

“I’m sorry I’m late, Doc.” He was saying. “There was a--” He stopped dead when he saw Chakotay sitting on the bio bed. 

Chakotay stared back at the Lieutenant, eyes wide and jaw dropped as he put two and two together. _No._

“I can at least assure you, Commander, that the baby is fully human. No Torrelian interbreeding happening here.” continued the Doctor smugly until he noticed Chakotay. “Are you listening Commander?”

“Tom.” said Chakotay. “Oh my God, it's you."

 

**7 weeks earlier  
i.e. 0 weeks**

 

Janeway noticed the buzz in her own head first. Quite the kick for what was supposed to be a non-alcoholic drink. And she'd only had one glass. She looked around the room, and quickly realised she wasn't the only one. Kim had pinned Paris into a corner and seemed to be telling him a rather involved story, that Paris was only half listening to in between reassuring him, and keeping him upright. Seven seemed to be livelier and more talkative than Janeway had ever seen her in her few short months on board. Ensign Takahashi's cheeks were burning pink as she tried to flirt with a rather shy Torrelian official. She was relieved to see, however that most of the now somewhat drunk crew seemed to at least be behaving themselves. 

Finally she noticed off on the other side of the room, slumped against the window panel and staring off into the stars was her first officer. He was almost completely still, and Janeway could practically see the disoriented cloud swirling above his head. She excused herself from the group of dignitaries she was speaking with and walked over to Paris.

"So I told Megan Delaney, if she wanted me, she was just going to have to make a move. Because I can't wait forever." Kim was explaining. "I know it's a 70 year trip, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be available forever."

"Captain!" Paris called, when he saw her walking towards him. Looking more than a little grateful to give Kim a pat on the back and get away from him for a few minutes. "Is it me, or does half this crew seem drunk?" he asked.

"I think it's this drink of theirs." She said, holding out the half drunk glass of something red in front of her.

"I thought they weren't supposed to be alcoholic. Isn't Torrel a dry planet?"

"Well, it seems to be to them." said Janeway, glancing at the Torrelian dignitaries, all of whom were passively mingling around the room. "You seem rather unaffected yourself, Lieutenant."

Paris shrugged. "I didn't like it. My glass is still sitting mostly full on one of the tables." There was a sudden crash, and Janeway and Paris looked to where Ensign Takahashi had apparently fallen onto a table and broken a few glasses. "Maybe it's time you cut everyone off."

"And send some people to their quarters to sleep it off." she agreed. "Could you do me a favour?" Janeway motioned to where Chakotay was still standing, slouched over. "Take him back for me?"

"Sure thing."

\---

Paris approached Chakotay cautiously. "Hey, Commander. How are you doing?" he asked.

Chakotay looked a lot more out of it up close, and where Paris could see his face. Chakotay blinked and finally turned his head toward the lieutenant. "Paris?"

Paris broke into a grin despite himself. "Wow, you're pretty far gone, aren't you?" he said. 

"M'fine." Muttered Chakotay.

Paris pulled him off of the wall. Chakotay stood for a minute, and began to sway, so Paris grabbed his arm and held him steady. "Yeah, well, let's get you home anyways." he said, putting his arm around Chakotay's waist while taking Chakotay's arm and putting it over his shoulder, and directing him out of the observation lounge.

"I really am fine." Chakotay was saying as Paris half guided, half carried him down the corridor back to his quarters. 

"Sure you are, big guy." said Paris. "Because you'd definitely be letting me drag you down corridors if you were sober."

"'Can't be drunk." said Chakotay. "'Didn't drink anything."

"Sure you did, that red stuff the Torrelians brought on board." He stopped and directed Chakotay through a set of nearby doors.

"'S'not my quarters." Said Chakotay as they walked into the sickbay.

Paris directed him to a bio bed to sit down, he swayed while Paris went to get a hypospray.

He measured some drug and filled the hypospray. He then came over and pressed it against Chakotay's neck. "This will help you sober up a bit. And maybe you won't be too badly hung over tomorrow morning."

Paris watched Chakotay's eyes for a few minutes, and was relieved to see them begin to uncloud a bit. Chakotay's gaze shifted over to Paris' and they locked eyes for a minute. Paris thought he saw something strange in Chakotay's expression but he brushed it off. "Alright now that I'm not so afraid of you choking on your own vomit, let's get you to bed." he said

Chakotay only nodded and let Paris heave him back up and back out of sickbay. He was definitely doing better. Paris was only guiding him now, and Chakotay seemed to know where they were and where they were going. Though he was still being very quiet. Then again, maybe Chakotay was just a quiet drunk, Paris thought, now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure he had ever seen Chakotay drink anything stronger than the occasional glass of synth ale. 

"How are you feeling?" asked Paris as he watched Chakotay collapse onto his couch after they'd reached his quarters.

"I think I might just sleep this off." answered Chakotay moving to lay down on the couch.

"Oh no you don't." Paris pulled him up. "Let's at least get you to the bed." He dragged Chakotay into his bedroom. Paris stopped for a moment. He'd never seen Chakotay's bedroom before. He took in a handcrafted blanket over a chair, and a leather bag with embroidery and beads lying strewn across the end table, but otherwise everything was bare and clean. So much so, that Paris wondered if it looked any different than when he first moved in. Maybe cleaner.

He turned his attention back to Chakotay who was looking at him again with that same strange look. "I'm OK, Tom." he said. "You don't have to babysit me." Paris admitted he did look more focused, more alert. He was even standing on his own without swaying. "In fact," he continued, "I'm feeling much better."

"You look it." said Paris. "Alright, I'll leave you to it then." Except he didn't leave. In fact he didn't even move. Something about that gaze seemed to have planted him to the floor he was standing on. "Hail me if you get sick." He said quickly, covering up his unwillingness to go. He still wouldn’t move, and Chakotay’s intense look never wavered. “Or I could stay and monitor you for awhile.”

Chakotay’s face broke into a slow smile. He reached over and grabbed Paris arm and pulled him towards him. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

Paris tensed. Is that what he had said? But a moment later Chakotay had leaned in and started kissing him just below the ear, and Paris didn’t think it mattered what his intention had been. He relaxed and leaned in, while one of his hands reached up and ran itself through Chakotay's hair.

Afterwards, Chakotay fell asleep but Paris didn’t. Even with him asleep, Paris found he didn’t want to leave. He sat, half upright for a long while, looking curiously at the sleeping figure. Unsure of what just happened, though not regretting it either. “Goodnight, Commander.” He whispered, running his hand through Chakotay’s hair one last time.

 

**9 weeks**

The senior staff were sitting around the conference table, mostly mildly busy or bored while they waited for the meeting to begin. Chakotay was looking over the crew manifest while Paris was decidedly looking anywhere but across the table at his commanding officer. Both were relieved when Janeway finally walked in and started the meeting.

“I think I have something, Captain.” explained Kim. “I was looking over the Torrelian maps, there’s a trading post about 30 lightyears from our present location. We might be able to get a map and some idea of whose space we’re heading into.”

“I don’t recall a trading post when I was looking over them earlier.” said Janeway. 

Kim looked a little uncomfortable. “It’s not exactly in what was marked as stable space, Captain.”

Janeway sighed. 

“You mean this trading post is in the middle of the boonies?” asked Paris.

Kim shrugged. “You could put it like that.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” said Paris. “Just because it’s filled with lowlifes and petty criminals doesn’t mean they don’t know whose space we’re about to enter.”

“I’m not sure I’d like to risk anybody just for a map.” said Janeway.

“I don’t know.” countered Chakotay. “I think I’d rather take my chances in a seedy bar over accidentally running into someone like the borg.”

“Perhaps,” suggested Tuvok, “if you are worried about sending crewmembers to deal with hoodlums and petty criminals, the solution might be to send crewmembers who have a history of dealing with hoodlums and petty criminals.”

Janeway raised an eyebrow. “You know, that makes a certain amount of sense.” She shifted her attention to Chakotay. “How about you and Paris?”

Chakotay didn’t miss Paris’ reaction. A sudden look of horror at the idea of Chakotay going anywhere dangerous. But he ignored it. “Sounds good.” He told her. “When do we leave?”

\---

It was decided that they would take a shuttle to the base. Something low-key, and this far away from federation ship, unlikely to be identified as military. Though a few scorch marks and superficial dents were added anyways. Paris and Chakotay would not be wearing Starfleet uniforms, instead they were both dressed very similarly to how they did in their Maquis days. They were given some latinum and dylithium to trade, along with some Torrelian currency and were sent on their way.

Chakotay was sitting in the co-pilots chair, drinking one of those herbal teas of his, while Paris focused on flying the shuttle. “We have 6 hours before we reach the trading base.” He said. “Hope you brought a book.”

“Preparing duty rosters, actually.” Chakotay picked up a pad he had sitting on his lap. 

“Do you ever stop working?”

Chakotay smiled. “No.”

Paris shook his head, but the expression on his face was playful. “I kind of wish you would.” He said after a while.

Chakotay tensed. At least he understood Paris’ sudden concern now. He supposed he might feel a bit overprotective of someone who was carrying his own unborn child. But it didn’t mean he found it any less irritating. “This has to stop, Lieutenant.” 

“What?”

Chakotay sighed. “This overprotective streak you’ve suddenly developed.” Paris shifted uncomfortably. “You will treat me no differently than the rest of the crew. Understand?”

Paris started to protest, but Chakotay cut him off.

“That’s an order.” 

Paris went silent for a moment. “It’s not that easy.” He said finally. “Look, I know how I’m acting. I know it’s not rational. But I can’t help it, alright? I see you in any kind of danger and it’s like someone lit a fire inside of me. I can’t just turn it off.”

“Well you’re going to have to try.” Chakotay answered, completely unsympathetic, and feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. “Because if you can’t get this under control, the next time the Captain orders us on an away mission together, I’m going to ask for Tuvok instead.”

“Understood, sir.”

\---

Some time passed, and the two fell into an easy silence. Chakotay sipping his tea, and going over the duty rosters, while Paris focused on flying the shuttle. There wasn’t much to fly, and Paris knew he could easily just set the auto-pilot and go off to take a nap or something, but he liked flying it manually. Even if there was just dead space for lightyears. He liked feeling the ship beneath his fingertips, the hum of the engine, the feel of warp coils. The only thing that would make this better would be if he could put on old Captain Proton radio plays while he worked, but he wasn’t sure Chakotay would appreciate the distraction while he was trying to focus. But without it he was finding he had too much time to think.

“You know, we should talk about it.” said Paris, after a while. 

Chakotay didn’t even look up from his pad. “Talk about what?” he asked absently.

Paris put on the autopilot and turned his chair so he could face Chakotay. “I want to be involved.” 

Chakotay looked up. “Involved?”

“Yeah, involved. We haven’t even had a conversation since that day in the sickbay. And that was two weeks ago.” said Paris. “It’s my kid too. I don’t want to be left out.”

Chakotay put the pad away-- _Thank you_ , thought Paris--and considered Paris’ words. “I wasn’t planning on cutting you out.” He said at last. “Don’t worry, once the baby is born, I expect you to be a part of her life too.”

“Could be a boy.” said Paris. But he was relieved to see there weren’t any issues.

Chakotay shook his head. “My mother always said that morning sickness means it’s a girl.”

“Really, you’re basing this on an old wives tail?” asked Paris.

“She was a village elder, and midwife.” said Chakotay. “I think she knew what she was talking about.”

“What was she like, your mother?”

But Chakotay just held up his pad. “Duty rosters to finish.” he said turning his chair back facing front. 

“Right.” said Paris, turning back to the shuttle and taking off the autopilot.

\---

Time passed, Chakotay finished his tea, then eventually the duty rosters and went to get more tea. He never said a word, however. Just watched the stars fly past the view screen and let himself get lost in his own thoughts.

It was Paris who broke the silence again. “So how long are you planning on keeping this under your hat?” he asked.

Chakotay’s expression cleared as his focus returned to the shuttle. “I’m sorry?”

“The pregnancy. The crew’s been talking, you know. They know something’s up with you, they just don’t know what it is.”

“You haven’t told them anything?”

“Doctor/patient confidentiality. I’d lose my job in sick bay.” Paris thought about that for a moment. “Actually...” 

Chakotay smirked. “I’m not even showing yet.” he said. 

“You will. You’ll probably start to notice a bit of a bump in the next few weeks.”

“And how should I go about telling everyone?” asked Chakotay. “Just make a ship wide announcement? 'All hands, this is Commander Chakotay, I just wanted to let you know due to a misunderstanding with Q I’m now pregnant with Lieutenant Paris’ child. She’s due in 31 weeks. Any questions, please keep them to yourself. Chakotay, out.”

Paris grinned. “No, it’s much easier than that. You tell B’elanna and she tells Harry, and the whole ship knows before the day’s out.” 

“And you’re OK with everyone knowing?” asked Chakotay after a small pause.

“Like I said. They’ll all know eventually.” Paris did a minor realignment of the port side thruster. “Actually I kind of just want to get it over with. It’s killing me keeping this to myself. I want to celebrate.”

“Just making sure.” Chakotay took another sip of his tea.

Paris looked at Chakotay over his shoulder. “Didn’t know you cared.”

“How far are we from the trading base?” asked Chakotay, changing the subject.

Paris turned his attention to the console and dropped out of warp near a series of old looking stations and satellites. It almost looked like a city floating in space the network was so large. “Another 10 minutes. You ready for this, Commander?”

“I think I know my way around seedy bars by this point.” he said. “Remember to drop ranks, and drop the chivalry. They’ll pounce if they sense any weakness.”

“You know, Chakotay, I’ve hung around a few seedy bars myself.”

\---

The bar, if possible, looked even dingier on the inside then it did on the outside. The tables and floors were dirty, the customers, mostly large, ugly aliens, were even dirtier. Most of the patrons were minding their own business, talking in low voices with someone, or just playing some kind of table game. Though halfway to the bar, Chakotay noticed someone was possibly being beaten in a backroom.

“What’ll it be?” Asked the bartender when they got there. 

“Something strong.” said Paris. “Whatever you have around.”

“I’m good.” said Chakotay, turning away from the bar.

“What you don’t drink?” asked the bartender. “You some kind of Marmallian pussy cat?”

Paris tensed but relaxed again when he felt Chakotay grab his wrist under the counter. He turned around completely relaxed and looked the bartender straight in the eye and shrugged. Considering the bartender was 7 feet tall and about twice the size of a Nausicaan, Paris was impressed. “I don’t want a drink. Is there a problem with that?”

For a long tense moment, the bartender just looked at Chakotay with a fixed, angry glare. Chakotay held eye contact and didn’t move. The bartender deflated. “Fine.” he said at last. “Customers like you are why I need to start a cover charge.” he made Paris his drink. “You shouldn’t test me, you know.” he said to Chakotay. “You’re lucky I like your spunk. Or I’d’ve killed you where you stood.”

Chakotay smirked. “You would have tried, you mean.”

The bartender burst out laughing. “I like you!” He bellowed. “So whaddya want here anyways?” He asked them.

Chakotay turned to Paris, who brought out a padd. “We need some maps.” He said. “We’re on a heading of 00 maque 8, and we don’t know whose space we’re heading into.”

“Know who we could ask?” asked Chakotay.

“I can save you the trouble.” said the bartender. “There’s nothing there.” He handed Paris a red drink in grimy glass. Paris accepted it without a second glance.

“There’s something there.” said Chakotay. “We scanned the area, there’s plenty of stars and planets along the way.”

“None of its inhabited. There’s no life in that direction for another five hundred light years.”

Paris nearly spit out his drink. And only partly because he realised that it was the same one the Torrelians gave them. “Chakotay, that’ll take us 4 months to get through.”

Chakotay nodded and turned back to the bartender. “And once were through the expanse, what’s on the other side?” he asked.

The bartender shrugged. “Who knows.”

“Well someone must know something.” said Chakotay. “If you know there’s life again in five hundred light years.”

The bartender just shrugged. “At least five hundred light years.” he ammended.

Chakotay glared.

“Well know anyone who might know?” asked Paris. 

“No.” said the bartender. He moved on to other customers. 

“Well that went well.” said Paris pushing off from the bar with his drink. Chakotay followed closely behind.

“Could have gone worse.” Chakotay pointed out. 

“Don’t remind me.” muttered Paris

They were walking towards a small table near the back when something hissed at them from around the corner. The two men looked over to see a pair of bright yellow eyes staring at them. Slowly a slim green form materialized out of the shadows and slithered onto one of the chairs at their table.

“I hear you two are looking for a map.”

Chakotay and Paris sat down. 

“Yeah, that’s right.” said Chakotay. “For 00 marque 8. For whatever’s on the other side of the expanse.”

“It’s not the other side you should worry about.” hissed the alien. “If you make it there, you’ll be lucky.”

Chakotay stood up. “We’re not interested in riddles.” he grabbed Paris’ arm. “Come on, Tom, let’s go.”

“Wait.” hissed the alien. “We can help you.”

Chakotay stopped and turned around. He leaned back in “For a price, I assume?”

The alien cocked his head. Chakotay blew out a sardonic laugh but he sat back down. “Alright, let’s talk business then.” He said.

“If you really are determined to travel through the expanse, these maps could save your life.” said the alien. “The price will not be cheap.”

“Let’s see them first.” said Chakotay firmly. “Show me you actually have something.”

The green alien made a noise over his shoulder and a large ugly troll like alien came out with a plastic container and opened it. The alien took out a few data pads and showed them to the two officers.

Paris picked up the nearest one and looked over it.

“Can you read it?” asked Chakotay.

“Yeah. It’s a bit weird, but I recognize these star charts. A few minutes in our computer system and we should be able to translate the rest of it too.”

Chakotay turned back to the aliens. “What do you want for them?”

The green alien leaned forward. “What do you have?” He hissed seductively.

“Latinum. Dilithium. Torrelian Money. Name your price.” Answered Chakotay, completely unperturbed by the alien leaning into his personal space.

“How much do you have?”

Chakotay shook his head. “Nuh-uh. It doesn’t work that way.” he said. “You give me a price, I decide if it’s fair and we go on from there.”

“Fine. 60 bars of latinum.”

“For a bunch of maps?” asked Chakotay. “It’s just data. You can copy it out a thousand times.”

“And the padds they’re on.” said the alien. “60 bars.”

Paris frowned. “Can my friend and I have a moment to confer?” he asked the alien. Chakotay looked confused, but he didn’t resist. The alien nodded and Paris pulled Chakotay a few feet over.

“We don’t have 60 bars of latinum.” He hissed. “We don’t have half that.”

“Don’t worry,” Chakotay reassured. “I’ve negotiated tougher deals then with. We’ll get the maps.”

They were about to move back when something large and furry tapped Chakotay’s shoulder. 

Chakotay turned around to see a very menacing alien growling down at him. “Can I help you?” he asked impatiently. 

The alien pushed Chakotay up against the nearby wall and leaned in so their noses were nearly touching. “You lookin’ for a good time?” it asked him.

Chakotay’s eyes widened in surprise. That was not the response he had expected. “Not with you, thanks.” He tried to leave but the alien moved its arm in his way.

“You haven’t even given me a chance.” said the alien leaning so far forward Chakotay could smell the alcohol on his breath. And Oh God, did he have an aversion to whatever that was. He was going to be ill again. 

But before anything happened, Paris grabbed the aliens arm. “Hey, back off!” 

The alien turned his head and Chakotay was relieved to be able to breathe again. “Get lost.” growled the alien. 

“It’s fine, Tom.” said Chakotay. “I can handle this.”

The alien seemed to take that as an invitation and turned lecherously back to Chakotay. “Go away, blondie.” it said. “This isn’t any of your business.”

“The hell it’s not.” Paris grabbed his arm again and pulled him back so the alien was facing him. “Leave him alone.”

“What is it to you?” asked the alien.

Paris punched him. “He’s carrying my unborn child. That’s what.” he said to the staggering would-be aggressor. 

The alien found its footing and came after him the exact moment the negotiator walked up and asked “Is there a problem here?”

The alien swung at Paris, but he dodged and it punched the negotiator in what looked like could have been his nose. The negotiator’s goon jumped in after that, knocking the alien against a table of large purple things who got up and went after the goon and within a few minutes an entire brawl had broken out. 

“What are we gonna do?” asked Paris, huddled under a nearby table with Chakotay. 

“Grab the maps.” he said. “We’re getting out of here.”

Paris did a double take. “Did I--”

“Just do it, Lieutenant!” he yelled. Paris rushed over and grabbed the data padds.

Chakotay stood up to see his partner’s progress and was hit hard on his nose by something. His vision blurred, but he did manage to see Paris pick up the data pads. He hit his combadge. “Chakotay to shuttle craft, 2 to beam back.”

When they rematerialized in the shuttlecraft, Paris didn’t even wait for orders. He rushed over to this pilot’s chair and started the disembark process.

“We have company.” said Paris after a few minutes. “I think there’s a good chance it’s that slimy green alien friend of ours. He’s following us.”

“Can you lose him?” asked Chakotay. 

Paris grinned. “Definitely.” He immediately did a fancy loop and slipped off in between the stations. The alien ship followed suite. “They’re hailing us, Commander.” He said.

“Ignore it.” answered Chakotay. “Just focus on losing them.”

There was a sudden crash. 

“They hit us.” said Chakotay, trying to read the panel, though his vision was still blurring in and out. “Shields at 85 percent.” Another crash. “65 percent.”

“Starting evasive maneuvers, gamma 7.” Said Paris calmly, doing a spin and looping down into more narrow corridors. Above them the alien ship broke off, and Paris thought he was in the clear until he saw it move in front of the tunnel they were heading out of. Paris saw another shaft coming up to his right and did a quick turn. “I hope this has an exit.” For a terrifying second, Paris watched as the shaft he was flying down got darker and narrower, and he thought they may be in real trouble, when he noticed a space above him. And stars out past that. “Alright, here we go, Commander.” He said, lurching them suddenly up. He came out at the top of the stations.

“No sign of the alien vessel.” said Chakotay. “Take us out of here before he finds us.”

“Yes sir.” announced Paris and the shuttle took off.

\---

“I can’t believe we did that.” Paris didn’t know whether to laugh or panic. “What are we going to tell the captain when she asks why we still have everything we brought to trade?" Chakotay didn’t answer, and Paris turned to look at him for the first time since they left the station. “Holy shit, Chakotay. What the hell happened?”

Chakotay was leaned back in his chair, eyes clenched shut in pain, his nose obviously broken with blood all over his front. Paris ran for the medical kit. 

“How bad is it?” asked Chakotay as Paris scanned him with the tricorder.

“Actually it looks a lot worse than it is.” he reassured him. “Hold onto something, I need set your nose so it heals properly.”

Chakotay grabbed onto the arms of his chair, while Paris grabbed the bridge of his nose and pushed it back where it belonged. “Aaah!” Chakotay yelled.

“You can relax, the worst is over.” said Paris, starting to work on knitting the cartilage and the bone back into place. Chakotay started to nod, but Paris grabbed his chin. 

“Don’t move your head.” he admonished softly. Chakotay just held still while Paris finished. “When did this even happen?” he asked finishing with the bone knitter and went to get something damp to wash the blood off with.

“Right before we beamed out.” said Chakotay. 

“Yeah well, you should be more careful.” he said. He came back and put a wet cloth over Chakotay’s nose. “You’re still scrapped up so it’ll sting a bit.” he said when Chakotay winced. “I’ll run the dermal regenerator over you just as soon as I can see where to put it.”

“If I recall, Lieutenant, I told you to stop trying to save me.” scolded Chakotay as Paris worked. 

“You’re telling me you could really have handled that giant...” Paris paused for a second. “Oh God, I don’t even know what gender it was.”

“Then maybe we could have avoided the brawl altogether.” said Chakotay, ignoring Paris’ horror. 

“You’re blaming this on me?” asked Paris incredulous.

“An order’s an order, Lieutenant.”

“Alright, next time I’ll leave you to the horny bear aliens, and you can let me know how that goes.” snarked Paris. Chakotay didn‘t answer and he continued. “And what about when you ordered me to steal those maps?” Paris washed over another scratch and Chakotay winced again.

“Don’t worry, I plan to take full responsibility.” he said. 

“You know.” said Paris, he’d finished washing away the blood and pulled out the dermal regenerator. “This isn’t how I thought this would go. It’s like being back in the Maquis.”

“Nostalgic, isn’t it?” 

“You could say that.” Paris finished up and looked over his handy work. Except for a bit of smeared blood, he looked good as new. He shifted his gaze up and realised Chakotay was looking up at him. With a look in his eyes that Paris hadn’t seen in a long time. 9 weeks in fact, he thought to himself. He held the gaze. “Alright, I think I'm done.” he said. He grabbed the tricorder beside him. “Let me just check on the baby and I’ll go back to my seat.”

“The baby’s fine.” said Chakotay “I only got hit in the face.”

“It probably is but I’m just going to double check.” He scanned Chakotay’s stomach and went completely still.

“What is it?” asked Chakotay, fighting down a sudden worry. 

Paris turned to him looking shocked. “Nothing, she’s fine.” he said quickly. “It’s just,” he turned back to the tricorder readings and broke into a smile. “This is the first time I’ve seen her.”

Chakotay relaxed and Paris shifted so he could see the tricorder readings too. “See, this is her hearbeat.” He said, pointing at one set of readings. “And see these over here? She’s squirming around a bit right now.”

“They all just look like numbers.” Chakotay confessed. But he was smiling, infected by the pure joy radiating off Paris.


	3. Chapter 3

**12 weeks**

 

Torres was in engineering triple checking plasma manifolds to make sure the ship was currently running at peak efficiency. Like everyone else on the crew, the idea of being away from any life, or any class M planets for so long made her nervous. And the sooner they got through the expanse and back to inhabited space the better.

"How's it going down here, Lieutenant?" Torres turned around to see the Chakotay walking through engineering towards her.

"Is this a surprise inspection?" she asked him. "Because if it is, your timing's impeccable."

Chakotay smiled and shook his head. "Actually I just got off duty and I was wondering if you wanted to have supper with me tonight. I have a few replicator rations I've been saving up."

Torres leaned against the control panel and smiled. "Yeah." she said. "I'm off at 1800."

"1800 my quarters it is then. I'll see you there."

"Chief medical officer to Commander Chakotay." The Doctor's voice suddenly appeared over the comm system. 

Chakotay tapped his comm badge. "Chakotay here."

"You are five minutes late for your appointment, Commander." Scolded the hologramme. "Did you forget?"

"I'm on my way now, Doctor." said Chakotay. He pointed at Torres on his way out. "1800, don't forget."

"What was that about?" asked crewman Hars as soon as he'd left.

"I have no idea." answered Torres. "But if he doesn't tell me what's going on with him tonight, I'm going to string him up by his toenails."

\---

Chakotay walked into sickbay and glanced around.

"He's not here." reassured the Doctor motioning him to one of the biobeds. "As you know. You do set the duty rosters, afterall."

Chakotay debated playing dumb, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. "Right." he said. Sitting on the bed and letting the doctor go over him with the tricorder. 

"Is there any particular reason you're avoiding Lieutenant Paris?" asked the Doctor, setting up a scan and going to get a view screen.

"I'm not avoiding him, really. I'm just being selfish." The Doctor hit a few buttons and an image of the baby appeared on the screen. "I don't want to share this yet."

"I see. Well I can tell you, the baby is doing quite well." explained the doctor. "It’s currently at 5.4 cm long and 14g. Exactly where it should be. Quite a bit larger than our last appointment." 

"I'm sure Paris looks at the scans when he comes in on his next shift." Said Chakotay, not taking his eyes away from the view screen. She was looking less alien and more human everytime he saw her. 

"Every chance he gets." sighed the Doctor. "Rest assured, Commander, this child is going to have a very attentive father." He turned his attention back to his tricorder readings. "And how is the morning sickness?"

"Regular." said Chakotay dryly.

"That's normal, it does tend to subside in the second trimester however. Which means it will likely begin to ease off sometime over the next month or so. Any unusual pain, cramps?"

Chakotay shook his head.

"No fever, headache, anything like that?"

"No."

"dizziness, disorientation?"

"No."

Finally the doctor put the tricorder away and felt the lower part of his abdomen. "You're beginning to show, Commander. Might I suggest making sure you have some looser clothes replicated?"

"I'll do that, Doctor."

"Then I think we're done here. Everything seems normal. Unless there are any problems, I'll see you again in 3 weeks."

\---

Torres arrived at Chakotay's at 1806. When she walked in, the place was filled with the smell of replicated food. "Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had some saved up rations." she said.

"You know, I just haven't gotten around to using them." Chakotay explained as he set the table. 

"So you thought you'd have someone over for dinner to help you." Torres supplied. "That's sweet. I'm glad you asked me." She sat down at the table. "So I guess there's no occasion then?" she asked.

"Just some time spent with a good friend I don't talk to nearly enough." said Chakotay.

He brought the last of the food to the table and sat down opposite her, and the two quickly fell into easy conversation. 

"So how did you get so many replicator rations saved up?" asked Torres partway through the meal. At first she had wondered if he was too ill, but he seemed to be eating just fine. "Don't tell me you've been eating Neelix's cooking."

"I thought his cooking had been getting better lately." 

"Are you kidding me? He's used Leola root in every meal he's made in the last 5 days."

"You know, I always wondered if I was too quick to judge leola root." mused Chakotay. "It's really not as bad as I remembered."

Torres barked out a laugh. "Oh come on, you hate it more than anyone." Chakotay just shrugged and Torres looked him over. "You know, Chakotay, you've been pretty weird lately. You're not sick, are you?"

"Sick?"

Torres shrugged. "There's a rumour going around you have some kind of incurable Talaxian STI." she explained. She tried to sound like she thought it was silly, but Chakotay didn't miss the way she kept glancing at him, gauging his reaction in case it was true. "It fits with what we've seen, occasional nausea and vomiting are the early stages. And you've been going to see the doctor a lot, and Tom knows something." She stopped when she realised she was babbling and that Chakotay was smiling, looking amused "What?"

"I'm not sick, B'elanna." he reassured her. "Actually there is a reason I wanted to talk to you."

"That would explain why you've been throwing up for weeks?" asked Torres. "And the doctor visits? Because I don't know why you'd do that if you weren't sick."

"It explains the cravings too."

Torres frowned. Did she mishear? "You can't mean..."

"And the Doctor would have given me something for the nausea but apparently some morning sickness is beneficial."

Torres eyes went wide. "Oh my God. You're serious, aren't you." 

Chakotay nodded, his expression somewhere between sheepish and happy. 

"But human men--"

"Can't get pregnant without extensive hormone therapy treatments." Chakotay finished it for her. "I know. You can thank Q for this actually."

"But why would Q--"

"It's a long story, and frankly the Captain understands it a lot better than I do." 

Torres just nodded, still looking a little dazed. "Oh my God, you're pregnant. This is real. This is a real thing." She left her chair and rushed around the table to Chakotay. He directed her hand to the tiny bump just beginning to form on his lower stomach. "How far along are you?"

"12 weeks." 

"Does it kick?"

"Not yet." answered Chakotay softly. "The Doctor tells me it'll be a few more weeks before we'll be able to feel her moving."

"Oh my God." repeated Torres. She seemed to be torn over whether she wanted to laugh or cry. "I'm so relieved that this is the reason." She said, then she straightened up and punched Chakotay hard in the arm.

"What was that for!?" Cried Chakotay clutching his arm.

"For not telling me sooner." She said. "You've known for 3 months now while I've been worrying about you."

Chakotay rubbed his arm. He’d forgotten how hard she can punch. "I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner.” he managed.

"Damn straight." answered Torres unsympathetically. "Any other major secrets you've been keeping from me?"

"Just one. Tom Paris is the father." 

Torres choked.

 

**15 weeks**

Paris was on his way to sickbay when something slapped him hard in the back. 

“Congratulations!” It was Kim, trotting a bit to get in step beside him. “Is it true?”

Paris grinned and nodded. “Whatever you heard.” He said. “All of it.”

“So you’re saying Chakotay really is dying from Talaxian AIDS?”

“Alright, maybe not that part of it.” conceded Paris. “But the rest. As insane as it all sounds.”

“Wow, another little Paris.” said Kim, awed. “As though the first one wasn’t bad enough.”

“It’s Chakotay’s too. With any luck she won’t inherit my unlucky streak at all.”

“Yeah, what’s that all about?” asked Kim. “You and the Commander, I mean. Are you two in a relationship?”

Paris let out a harsh laugh. “He won’t even let me get near enough to him to be there during his medical appointments.” They reached sickbay and Paris fell backwards through the doors so he could keep facing Kim, who followed closely behind. “Trust me, there’s no romantic relationship to speak of.”

“How did it happen then?” asked Kim skeptically. “Did he just fall on you?”

“He was drunk and I was willing.” Paris shrugged like it was no big deal. “He doesn’t even remember it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Paris rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, Harry.” he reassured him as he walked over to the other side of Sick Bay and started decontaminating his hands. “The only thing I’m concerned about is the kid. I want to be part of her life. How can I do that if Chakotay’s even going so far as to schedule his check ups while I’m on the bridge?”

“B’elanna says he’s hard to get close to. He’s a private guy.”

“You can say that again.” Paris started setting up the equipment he needed. “How’d she get to be such good friends with him?”

“I think he saved her life.”

“Well I saved his life.” said Paris. “Surely that counts for something?”

“Ensign Kim, are you ill?” Paris and Kim turned around to see the Doctor coming out of his office.

“Not that I’m aware of.” 

“Then might I suggest you vamoose, so Lieutenant Paris can work?”

“Right.” said Kim. “I’m out. Sorry, Doc.”

“I’ll catch you later, Harry.” called Paris as he left. “Sandrine’s. 1900.”

The Doctor made a tutt tutt noise as he watched Kim leave. “I trust you can manage to get through your shift without anymore gossip?”

“It wasn’t gossip, doc. It was about me.”

“It was about Commander Chakotay.”

“It was about me and Chakotay.” corrected Paris. “Speaking of, did he make his appointment yesterday?”

“Yes, and the scans are saved in his medical file. You can look at it when you take your break at 1400.”

“Oh come on, just let me take a quick look?”

“If you arrived early, Lieutenant, you would have time to look at the scans before your shift began.” the Doctor pointed out. “But right now I need your help going over Ensign Yule’s recent test results and make sure that abnormal reading really is just a random mutation and not the early stages of Bolian Motts Disease.”

Paris sat at a console, carefully going through the data from two separate blood samples of Ensign Yules, and picking apart any differences. It was mind numbing, but important. And if he worked fast, maybe the Doctor would let him take his break a bit earlier. He was so engrossed he didn’t even notice the Doctor walk up behind him until he put his hand on Paris’ shoulder. 

“She’s doing well, by the way.” he told her. Paris didn’t even have to ask who ‘she’ was. “Exactly where she’s supposed to be for her age.”

Paris paused his work and spun around so he was facing the Doctor. “How big is she?”

“5.4cm.” he said holding out his finger and thumb to illustrate and was rewarded with a wide grin from Paris. 

“Can I go on break now?”

“Finish comparing the samples and the monitor in my office is all yours.” said the Doctor.”

 

**16 weeks**

 

“I’m telling you, they’re not together.” whispered Harry to the rest of the table, which currently consisted of Ensign Takahashi, Enseign Yule and Lieutenant Ayala. 

“Just a one night stand?” asked Ayala looking skeptical. “Because I’ve known Chakotay a long time and he's not the kind of guy who has a lot of casual sex.”

“You ever seen the way Paris gets around Chakotay on away missions? Worse than a Mama Bear if you go near its baby.” grinned Takahashi. “They may not be together together now, but there’s more going on there then just a one night stand.”

“I dunno.” said Harry. “Tom seemed pretty blase when he told me it was just sex. I think he was telling the truth. Tom tells me everything.”

“Maybe it wasn’t the same for both of them.” suggested Takahashi. “Maybe it was just casual sex for Tom.”

Harry shook his head and leaned in and whispered. “I heard Chakotay doesn’t even remember it. Tom says it happened the night the Torrelian delegation was on board.”

Takahashi and Ayala both exchanged a pointed look at that bit of information, and Kim was about to add more when a large hand firmly gripped his shoulder. 

“You all seem pretty deep in conversation.” said Chakotay casually. “Anything interesting?”

Kim shot a guilty look to the other crewmembers around the table. 

“Just talking about how good these porakan eggs are, Commander.” Said Takahashi quickly taking a bite of the untouched omelette on her plate, and nearly spitting it right back out again the moment it touched her tongue. But she recovered quickly, and even managed to swallow it as she forced a smile back up at Chakotay. 

“The eggs, huh?” Chakotay prodded. 

“Gotta love Neelix’s cooking, sir.” added Harry, though he was smart enough not to try and eat it in front of him.

“You should really try some.” said Takahashi quickly.

“Thank you, Enseign. Maybe I will.” he answered politely before heading off. 

“Don’t tell him that.” hissed Ayala. “Think of the baby!”

“Do you think he heard us talking about him?” whispered Harry a bit panicked.

\---

Chakotay moved in line behind Paris who was scowling back at Harry’s table. “Are they seriously gossiping again? You’d think they’d have something more interesting than us to talk about.”

“They’re bored.” said Neelix, amicably from behind the counter, making sure to give Paris a healthy portion of his porakan egg omelette. “This crew has had nothing to do except scrimp for the past 4 weeks now.”

“I understand--” Chakotay started to say, but stopped at the sensation in his head of feeling suddenly much lighter than it should. It wasn’t his first dizzy spell of late, he’d been very tired lately, something he assumed wasn’t abnormal when you were expending energy for two, but this was strongest one he’d had yet. He grabbed on to the counter and waited for it to pass.

When his vision cleared the first thing that came into focus was Paris looking concerned, asking, “Chakotay, are you alright?”

Chakotay was about to testily brush Paris off when the room very suddenly started spinning again. The last thing he saw before blacking out was about three people rushing over towards and Paris’ face going completely white.

\---

When Chakotay came around again, he was staring up at the sick bay ceiling while the doctor tutted around him. “How do you feel, Commander?”

“Better.” he said, sitting up. He noticed for the first time in a long time that the blood didn’t rush out of his head as he did it. “Actually much better. What happened?”

“Your iron levels were dangerously low.” said The Doctor frowning at his tricorder readout. “In fact, I’m rather concerned. I don’t think you’re getting enough iron rich foods in your diet.”

Chakotay blinked. He had never even thought about iron. But it was the kind of thing his mother always used to worry about with the pregnant women back home. He remembered her serving them lots of red meat, usually a recent catch of his father’s, or later on, his sister’s. “I don’t eat meat.”

“Yes.” agreed The Doctor. “That seems to be part of the problem. Luckily for you, however, I have prepared a list of iron-rich foods we currently have on board, I suggest you make sure to take an extra helping during meals. I’d also recommend you program your replicator to add more iron to your nutritional guide. Past that I’ll be monitoring your levels, if this proves insufficient, I will have to start administering a supplement.”

“It’s that serious?”

“Very much so.” the Doctor drawled. “You nearly gave poor Mr Paris a heart attack.”

Paris, who had found something useful to do on the other side of the sick bay so he could stay, suddenly straightened his back at the sound of his name. Chakotay pointedly ignored it.

“I’m also rather concerned about your elevated stress hormones.” The doctor continued. “We are travelling through a vast expanse of uninhabited space. You should be using the extra time to relax.”

Maybe for the rest of the crew, Chakotay thought. But less to do, and less ways to burn off energy always led to more personnel issues that he had to personally deal with. On top of all the extra paperwork he saved just for downtime like this. He’d been working 12 hour days, and sleeping the other 12, due to what he know thought was probably the iron deficiency. 

“I’m sure I don’t have to go into all the complications stress can have on an unborn child.” the Doctor continued. “I’m going to prescribe a few days rest, I suggest you use it to relax.”

Chakotay looked up at The Doctor like he’d just given him a death sentence. “You’re taking me off duty?”

“Two days should suffice.”

“What am I going to do for two days?”

“Read a book. Go for walks. Book some holodeck time. Do whatever you want so long as it's not related to work.” answered The Doctor unsympathetically.

“The holodecks are both booked solid for the next three weeks.” 

“I have some time booked tonight.” Both The Doctor and Chakotay turned to look at Paris. He shrugged and said, “Maybe we can shoot some pool or something.”

Chakotay was feeling pretty good about the offer, and was even about to accept, right up until the Doctor said “Excellent. Then it’s a date.” And shooed them both out.

“Is this a date?” Chakotay asked as soon as he could. “Because I’d really rather--”

“It’s not a date.” interrupted Paris. “I figure, if we’re going to be raising a kid together, won’t it be easier if we actually know how to spend time together outside of work?”

Chakotay hesitated for a moment, decided he was telling the truth then relaxed. “Alright, you’re on.” 

Paris’ face broke into a grin. “Great, I’ll meet you in holodeck one at 1900h. Bring your pool cue.”

\---

“Commander Saurek was head of the piloting programme when you were there, right?” Paris asked as he lined up his shot.

“No, but he was an instructor.” answered Chakotay, leaning up against the pool table watching Paris shoot. “I think I had him my second year.”

“He used to drive me nuts.” said Paris. “Did you know he made all the cadets pass an exam to show they had every single one of the 511 safety regulations before he’d even let us set foot in a shuttle? Just simulators until we could practically quote the entire thing verbatim.”

Chakotay smiled. He could easily imagine Paris as an eager cadet dying to start flying, grounded until he memorized some manual.

“I bet you never memorized anything so quickly in your life.”

That earned a laugh from Paris. “Damn straight.” he agreed. “I can still probably quote all 511 regulations, including all 62 subsections, from memory if I wanted to.

“I’d rather you didn’t, we only have the holodeck for another half an hour.”

Another grin from Paris. “I’ll say this about him though. He was the first person to take us to Venus to learn how to fly in an atmosphere. Man, I’m telling you, you have not seen a sunset until you’ve seen it through a thick atmosphere like Venus’.”

“I remember.” said Chakotay fondly remember the way the entire planet seemed to light up in heavy blues and reds. 

Chakotay had to admit, this had been a good idea. Just him and Paris playing pool and talking about anything that wasn’t duty related, or about the pregnancy. It was starting to turn into a nostalgic night. It wasn’t just talking about academy days from over a lifetime ago for both of them either. Chakotay remembered this bar. He’d only been in it once, following rumours of a washed out Starfleet pilot who might fly for them if they can afford his bar tab. Who can predict how things turn out sometimes? 

“You seem quiet tonight.” Paris commented after a while. “Then again, I’m not really sure how that’s different than most nights.” he added just to be a smartass.

“I was just thinking--” Chakotay suddenly went completely still. When Paris opened his mouth to ask what it was, he gestured for him to be quiet for a second. Of all the nights, Chakotay thought to himself. He hadn’t heard this song in decades. Then aloud he said quietly, “It’s just that I’ve never heard the words to this song before.”

Paris raised an eyebrow. “The Stars Are In Your Eyes. By Bernadette Yu. It was a big hit from the Proxima Colony, from the 23rd century.”

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. “Not your usual period of expertise.”

“Hey good music is good music.” defended Paris. “The real question is, where did you hear it?”

“An old trading station.” Paris waited him out for more details. “Back on Dorvan V. We didn’t have a lot of technology, but there was a bar where traders and travelers would stop in on their way through the system. And they had this old jukebox, I swear it still used physical discs to store the music. It must have been a hundred years old. And this song was so overplayed, it crackled the whole time. You couldn’t make out any of what they were saying.”

Paris grinned. “See, it’s a good song.”

Chakotay went quiet for a minute to listen to the words and heard silly rhymes about the beauty of eyes.

“I think I liked it more when I couldn’t hear what she was singing.” Chakotay remarked.

“Smartass.” said Paris, but he was still smiling. “So you used to sneak into bars as a kid?”

“They wouldn’t let us drink.” said Chakotay. “But we could play with the jukebox and order some food, or dance. It was a popular place to bring a date.”

Paris looked interested. “Did you bring a lot of girls and boys out to this bar?”

Chakotay felt the back of his neck grow warm, and answered, “Only one. This was her favourite song to dance to.”

“I’ve never really thought of this as a dance tune.” and Chakotay could see what he meant. There wasn’t a heavy beat that made it easier to keep time, but it was steady and once you started, it was easy to fall into the rhythm.

“Actually it works pretty well.” said Chakotay, and without thinking he took Paris’ hand and pulled him out onto the floor.

A second later they’d both fallen into the slow step of the song.

“Alright, I see your point.” admitted Paris. “So tell me more about this girl. What was she like?”

“Stubborn. A free spirit. You couldn’t tell her what to do, especially if she thought she was doing the right thing.” answered Chakotay, feeling suddenly lost in a very distant past he hadn’t thought of in a long time. And dancing with Paris to this song in particular was making him feel like an awkward teenager all over again. “She ran away with a freighter captain when she was 19.” he continued. “She wanted to explore the stars, and he promised to take her. At least that’s how I understood it.”

“Another explorer.” said Paris, just for something to say. The two of them seemed to be moving pretty much in sync now, and Paris was surprised at just how much he was enjoying dancing with Chakotay. From the pretty music, and the warm room--when had it become so warm?--it was just...nice. Nicer than he would have expected anyways. And weird that any awkwardness he would have expected when Chakotay pulled him out just wasn’t there. Like they just fit perfectly together. And then Chakotay looked at him, and that look was back in his eyes. He tried to describe it this time, one part longing, one part intensity, one part fear. And for a second Paris was sure Chakotay was going to kiss him. 

And then the song ended.

It was almost like watching Chakotay come out of a dream. And Paris definitely caught a hint of red crawling up his neck as he very quickly let go of Paris. “I should go.” He said, and then to be polite, “Thanks for the evening.”

“Yeah.” Said Paris. “We should do it again sometime.”

When Chakotay had left Paris stood there for another five minutes processing everything that had just happened. Nothing had happened, he reminded himself, so why did it feel like something had?

\---

Chakotay woke up early the next morning, and was out of bed and well into his morning routine before he remembered the doctor had taken him off duty for the next two days. He sat, back on the bed, half dressed. What in the world was he going to do for the next two days? Almost unconsciously he moved his hand over his stomach, feeling again where it was starting to protrude. 16 weeks and he was still having trouble believing this was really happening. A quick glance around his room confirmed it. He still hadn’t gotten around to preparing for the baby. There was still no crib, or clothes, or anything that indicate a new roommate was on her way.

Finally Chakotay got back up and started looking through the ships replicator catalogs. Sometime today he was going to have to draft a request to the Captain for extra replicator rations and wondered if ensign Wildman got around to recycling everything back into replicator from when Naomi was a newborn.

 

**20 weeks**

 

“Have you tried using an extra pillow?” Wildman asked Chakotay as they walked into the busy mess hall. Chakotay was just coming off the gamma shift while Wildman was getting ready for an alpha shift in the science lab and they had agreed to meet for breakfast in between. “That’s what I did when I was having trouble adjusting to sleeping on my side. Just so I could have somewhere to put my arm.”

“I’ll try it today.” said Chakotay. “I’m just so used to sleeping on my back.”

Wildman nodded. “Yeah, I had a hard time adjusting too.” They took their place in line. “So have you given any thought to what you’re going to name her, yet?”

Chakotay shook his head. “Back home there would be a naming ceremony after she was born.”

“So what are you going to do?” asked Wildman.

“I haven’t really decided--”

“What is this crap!?” Chakotay and Wildman followed the sound of the interruption to a crewman at the front of the line. “Where’s the food?”

“I’m sorry, Hollis, but supplies are getting low, so we’re just going to have to rough it out a bit with rations some meals until we can resupply.” Neelix explained the situation to Hollis as though replacing the occasional meal of rations was some kind of fun game.

“That’s a whole month away.” cried Hollis.

“A bit of belt tightening seems a small price to pay in the name of exploration.” Answered Neelix cheerily, but his good mood only seemed to upset Hollis even further. 

“Now listen here,” He said leaning in and grabbing Neelix’s shirt, “Because I’ve been belt tightening since we went into this expanse and--”

“Excuse me, crewman. Is there a problem here?” Asked Chakotay, deciding it was probably time to intervene.

Hollis, startled, dropped Neelix and spun around so fast his elbow connected cleanly to Chakotay’s chest and pushed him back hard against Wildman. Hollis turned around, looking like he was still spoiling for a fight, but when he got a good look at Chakotay it was as though someone flipped a switch.

“Commander!” He cried rushing forward and helping Wildman help Chakotay get his equilibrium back. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see--I didn’t realise--are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, Crewman.” Answered Chakotay, feeling a bit testy. “What I’m concerned about was that display with Neelix you just had.”

Hollis at least had the good sense to look ashamed. “I’m sorry Commander, it’s just these last few months...”

“I realise things have been harder lately, but that’s absolutely no excuse to fly off the handle like that. I suggest you find a better outlet for your frustration than our cook, Crewman. Or next time you’ll end up confined to quarters. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Said Hollis meekly taking his rations and moving off to an unoccupied table.

“Ok, Sam,” Chakotay turned back towards Wildman. “What just happened?”

Wildman smiled. “Welcome to being visibly pregnant.” She patted his shoulder. “Look on the bright side," she said looking around the crowded room, “finding a place to sit is about to get much easier.”

Chakotay could feel the back of his neck begin to burn.

\---

“So I was thinking if we could reroute power through the second couplings, it should save enough power to give everyone extra replicator rations.” Harry explained to Paris as they walked down the ship’s corridors. “I’m going to tell B’elanna about it first thing after breakfast.”

“It won’t work, Har. We’d have to take the weapons offline.”

“Yeah, but we could have them back up again in ten minutes if we needed them. Besides, there’s absolutely nothing out here. What are we going to run into?”

“You know that’s been bothering me?” asked Paris. “When we got the map, everyone said that you can’t get through this expanse. Well we’re three quarters through, and we haven’t hit any problems at all yet.”

“Maybe it’s just the size.” suggested Harry. “I mean, if there’s no life and censors haven’t picked up any strange phenomena...”

Paris shrugged. “Maybe.” he agreed as they stepped into the messhall. But it didn’t make that weird feeling that something was off go away.

The mess hall itself was packed, yet somehow Paris still managed to catch sight of Chakotay, halfway across the room heading towards the back entrance with ensign Wildman, and felt his stomach lurch.

Paris hadn't seen Chakotay in over a week, not since he’d moved to the gamma shift, and he was startled to see how much more he was showing. But it wasn’t just that, he hadn’t noticed before, but Chakotay was looking good. Like healthy good. Like clear skin and shiny hair, and was this was people meant when they said pregnant people glow? And then another thought completely unbidden suddenly floated into his head, I did that to him. It all happened in the space of a few seconds. He felt his stomach squirm uncomfortably, and forced his attention back to Kim.

“Whatever the reason, I just know the sooner we’re out of this expanse the better I’ll feel.”

\---

It was probably around 0300h in the morning. And Chakotay was alone on the bridge with the exception of Baytart at the helm.

“There it is again. Another energy reading.” said Baytart. “Just off our starboard side.”

Chakotay followed the readings from his station at the captain’s chair. “What do you think it is? Some sort of anomaly?”

“Ghost power signatures.” Baytart mumbled. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Sorry, sir. It’s from my days on the USS Victoria. We used to go near the Borra nebula when we patrolled the neutral zone. Including the site of the second battle of the Federation/Romulan war.”

“That was the big one, right?” asked Chakotay. “The federation lost 12 ships in that battle.”

“And the Romulans lost 15.” added Baytart. “Even 200 years later we still found occasional pieces of space debris still floating around.” A humourless grin spread across Baytart’s face. “The entire area was rumoured to be haunted, sir. Despite the fact that there was nothing for light years, we’d read power signatures like these. Just little blips on the radar, gone as quickly as they came.”

“Were there ever any other explanations?”

“Oh sure.” said Baytart. “We heard all sorts of complicated scientific theories. Though nothing definite, and all of them a bit hard to follow for someone like me. As far as I know nothing has yet to be proven, though.”

Chakotay watched as the scanners registered another energy signature appear briefly of the port bow before disappearing again. “I should make a point of checking the ship’s computer. Maybe our little mystery here will help break the monotony up somewhat until we can get through this expanse.”

\---

Ensign Takahashi rolled over, once again awake with an upset stomach after eating too much of Neelix’s whatever kind of spicy sauce that was. In the morning she was going to have to see The Doctor about an antacid but in the meantime maybe some water would help. She climbed out of bed and walked into the main room of her quarters and screamed.

\---

When Chakotay walked into the sickbay Ensign Takahashi was sitting on one of the bio beds looking pale and glassy eyed, but otherwise alright.

The Doctor followed his gaze. “When she came in, I thought it was a heart attack. As it turns out she had an acute case of takotsubo cariomyopathy.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a heart condition, triggered by extreme stress. It can be very serious, though Ensign Takahashi’s case was more mild. But something scared her very badly, Commander.”

Chakotay nodded and walked over to Takahashi. 

“Hello, Nanami, how are you feeling?” He asked softly.

“B...better, Commander.” She answered, and Chakotay noted that despite the drugs The Doctor had given her to calm down, she was still shaking.

“Good. I’m glad. Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot already, but do you think you can tell me what happened?”

“It was...I’d never seen it before, sir...but I think it was some kind of alien. At least it wasn’t any species I recognized. Just standing there in my quarters. But it was...I don’t know, I could almost see through it. Like it was an apparition.”

Chakotay frowned. “Did it do anything? Say anything?”

”It said, something about trespassing and sacred grounds...I don’t know, I don’t really remember it exactly.” 

She sounded panicked and Chakotay put his arm on her shoulder to help steady her. “It’s OK. Just tell me what you do remember.”

“Commander," Takahashi looked up at him, her eyes were suddenly clear, “it...it said if we keep going, we’re all going to die.”

\---

“Could Ensign Takahashi have still been dreaming when she saw this apparition?” asked Tuvok, the next morning at the senior officer’s briefing.

“Of course it’s possible.” said Chakotay, “But she seemed pretty upset for a nightmare.”

“Ms Takahashi does have a penchant for exaggeration.” Tuvok pointed out.

“Still.” Janeway cut in. “I’d rather not dismiss it quite yet. Do you think it could be related to those energy readings you saw last night?” she asked Chakotay.

“I have no idea how. But it does seem like a bit of a coincidence that they would both happen on the same night.”

Janeway nodded. “I agree. I want to run some more scans, see if we can’t find the source of these energy readings. And Mr Kim, I’d like you to take a look at our library and see if we have any of those theory about that Borra Nebula phenomenon on file.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Said Kim. “Er...Captain, how do we know this area of space isn’t haunted?”

Chakotay watched Janeway’s eyes gleam. She was the wrong person that question to, he thought. He was the one who believed in spiritual matters. Janeway was a rationalist until the end. She would find a logical explanation even if there wasn’t one. “There’s no such thing as ghosts, Ensign.” She made it sound like a challenge.

\---

After the meeting ended Janeway signaled Chakotay over.

“How are you holding up?” she asked him.

Chakotay glanced around, not entirely sure what she was asking. “Kathryn, it was just a few anomalous readings.”

That earned a stern look from her, though Chakotay noted amusement in her eyes. “I meant with the duty shifts. I see the baby is coming along. Do you need to cut back? I don’t want you working too hard.”

So that’s what it was. A bit more stomach was showing than usual and suddenly everyone was concerned. “I’m fine.” He reassured her. Admittedly he was looking forward to getting back to his quarters and putting his feet up for a bit, but it was hardly more than a minor discomfort.

Janeway nodded. “I just wanted to be sure.” she said. Then her eyes gleamed as she glanced back down at Chakotay’s stomach. “Is she kicking yet? Can I feel?”

\---

“So now I don’t know if it was Megan or Jenny that I saw with Chell.” explained Kim as he and Paris made their way to astrometrics to run some more detailed scans. “Do you think I should just ask her? Do you think she’d be offended? Tom?”

The sound of his name pulled Paris back into the conversation. “Huh? What was that?”

Kim groaned. “I’ve been talking about Megan since we left the bridge.” 

Paris looked blank, then apologetic. “I’m sorry, I’m listening now. What did she do this time? I thought you weren’t speaking to her. Something about her being too possessive?”

Kim shook his head. “No, I wasn’t talking about that at all. Are you alright? You’ve been pretty quiet since yesterday.”

“I’m fine.” said Paris quickly.

Kim gave him a look that said he didn’t believe him. Or at least he knew he wasn’t saying everything.

“It’s just...” Paris started and stopped. It was just that he couldn’t get that damned image of Chakotay out of his head. In a way, he didn’t think he believed it until he saw him, looking healthy and bright, with a stomach suddenly visibly protruding. He was going to be a father. He looked back at Kim and shrugged. “I just have a lot on my mind lately.” he finished lamely. Not sure how to even begin explaining how he was feeling to Kim.

“Well just make sure you’re focusing when we’re doing these scans.” said Kim rounding the corner just before the astrometrics lab. “Because I don’t know about you, but this whole thing is giving me the creeps. The sooner--”

Kim stopped mid sentence when they entered the lab, and standing in the middle of the room was a large, green alien with deep red eyes, and Paris just barely noted that he could still see the holographic wall screen on the other side of the room, despite him, when a sudden boom filled the room:

THIS IS SACRED GROUND. YOU TRESPASS ON SPACE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. LEAVE NOW IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE AT ALL.

\---

By the next day there’d been dozens more sightings of the alien apparition. But it was more than that. The Delaney sisters had both seen their late mother tutting at the mess in their quarters. Neelix had gotten up in the middle of the night to find his sister wandering around his kitchen, looking curiously at all the exotic foods. And when Tuvok had gotten up that morning he had come face to face with an old friend who had died when they were serving together on the Wyoming. All three apparitions had told them sternly that they must turn around now before it is too late.

“It was rather disconcerting.” Tuvok admitted at the morning briefing. “But I can confirm that the apparition resembled Ensign Leon Russell perfectly.”

“It was the same with me!” Neelix said quickly, still shaken somewhat from the incident. “I mean, it was Alixia. In every way. It was like she was back.”

Janeway frowned. “There’s a reasonable explanation for all this, we just need to find it.” she declared. 

But as the meeting went on and they realised they still couldn’t find anything other than what Baytart still insisted on calling ‘ghost power signatures’ they were starting to feel dejected.

“Maybe we should turn around.” suggested Kim meekly near the end of the meeting.

“And go three more months in this expanse?” asked Paris. “We’ll all go nuts. Do we even have enough supplies to make it?”

“We do if we live off rations for the last two.” said Chakotay who had checked during the night when things seemed particularly dead.

“Yeah, and you of all people should not be forced to live on rations for two months.” said Paris, and suddenly Chakotay understood why he didn’t want to turn back.

“Tom.” Chakotay said in a low warning tone.

“Relax, Mr. Paris.” Janeway cut in. “Nobody is turning around just yet.” She turned to the rest of the senior staff. “But I want some answers, soon. You’re all dismissed.”

\---

Chakotay stepped into his quarters and took off his shoes. His feet were swelling again, but that wasn’t anything new at this point, and he looked forward to the idea of putting them up and maybe reading a bit before going to bed.

He wandered into the bathroom and ran some water over his face. It was nice to be off duty, and take a break from worrying about the ship for a few hours. Though he looked forward to coming off the gamma shift in a few days when he saw how pronounced the bags under his eyes were starting to get. And then he saw something in the mirror that shook him to the core.

“Chakotay. You’ve let yourself go since we last met.”

Chakotay turned around, completely disbelieving. Except, he remembered Tuvok and Neelix’s stories, and realised he should have seen this coming. “Who are you?”

The apparition smiled a soft, kind smile. “Has it been that long? That you don’t even remember your own father.”

“You’re not my father.” said Chakotay coldly. “And I don’t appreciate you impersonating my loved ones.”

The apparition looked back at him with sad eyes. “You haven’t sought me out in a long time.” It said and his glance moved downwards. “Are you ashamed? Or afraid of what I might think?”

Chakotay didn’t answer. Didn’t want to acknowledge the apparition as anything but an alien trick.

So the apparition continued. “Because you had nothing to fear, Chakotay.” The look on its face was full of love and tenderness, exactly how it used to look on his real father when he talked about matters like this. The memory of his sister’s first pregnancy suddenly flashed through Chakotay’s mind. His father had had a very similar look on his face then too. And in that moment, Chakotay suddenly desperately wanted this to be real. To be able to share this moment with his father. But wanting something to be real, didn’t make it real, he reminded himself. 

He tried again. “Where did you come from? Tell me the truth?”

“These are sacred grounds.” Said the apparition. “The barrier between your world and spirit world is weak here. The further you go, the weaker that barrier becomes. It is dangerous for you to be here. You must turn your ship around.”

“There’s another phantasm. An alien nobody recognizes. They’re telling us we’re trespassing. Trespassing on what?”

The apparition’s eyes suddenly became extremely sad. “The Veznat.” He explained. “This area of space wasn’t always uninhabited. In fact, the area you’re in now used to be one of the major centres of commerce for this entire sector.”

“What happened?”

“What tends to happen when men become obsessed with the material. When they lose their way, forget what is simple. What is important. The Veznat were rich in resources, and had very advanced technology. Many others wanted what they had. When they tried to take it by force, they ended up destroying everything in their greed.” Chakotay watched as the apparition walked towards the window and looked out into space. “Look at all these stars, Chakotay. Almost all of them at one time had planets that were brimming with life. Now, they’re just empty rocks. You can’t begin to imagine the devastation this sector has seen. This is like nothing ever seen in the Alpha Quadrant.”

Chakotay followed the apparition’s gaze. How many stars in this sector, hundreds? How many lives completely destroyed. He felt very cold. 

“Chakotay, I ask you once again to turn the ship around.” The apparition spoke from behind him, his voice full of concern. So much like his real father when he was worried about Chakotay. “It’s not just you you’re putting in danger. Think of your crew, think of your unborn child.” 

Chakotay turned around to argue, but instead of his father he found himself suddenly alone.

\---

When Chakotay walked into the messhall, it was almost empty except for a small handful of off duty crewmen scattered around and Neelix busy in the kitchen preparing for the inevitable lunch rush in a few hours.

“Commander!” He called, when he spotted Chakotay coming towards him. “Still up, I see.” He came out to meet Chakotay at the counter.

“I needed to get out of my quarters for a little while.” He confided to Neelix. 

“A bit of fresh air and company are important every once in a while.” Neelix agreed, cheerily. “So what can I do for you, Commander? Are you hungry? I still have some of that herbal tea blend we got from the Torrelians if you’re looking for a nice sleep aid.”

Chakotay shook his head. “No thank you.” He said. “Actually, I was wondering if we could talk for a minute.” He glanced at the kitchen. “If you have time, of course.”

“Of course, Commander. Let me just set a few things to simmer and I’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Now, Commander, what’s on your mind?” Asked Neelix sitting down across from Chakotay.

“When you saw your sister early this morning...” He wasn’t sure how to continue. He glanced towards the kitchen, the image of a long dead Talaxian woman wandering back and forth past the different pots in the early hours of the morning while most of the ship slept came too easily to his mind. “Do you think it was really her?”

Neelix wasn’t stupid, and Chakotay was sure the second the question was out of his mouth that Neelix knew exactly what had happened. But he didn’t say anything. Instead he answered Chakotay’s question. “I don’t know. If it wasn’t whoever created her sure did a good job. She was exactly as I remembered her.”

“What did she say? I mean other than warning us off of our current path.”

Neelix suddenly looked extremely sad, and Chakotay felt a pang of guilt for asking him such personal questions. “Not much, actually. A few personal endearments. She liked my kitchen. She thought I was doing well for myself.” He shrugged.

“Did she mention anything about a race of people called ‘the Veznat’?”

Neelix’s eyes suddenly went wide. “Where did you hear that name?”

“So she did?”

Neelix shook his head. “No, it’s a very old fairy story. But I never thought it might be true. Are we in the realm of spirits?”

\---

Janeway rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry Neelix, can you go over that again?” She asked after a rather lengthy and convoluted explanation on Talaxian folklore. “Who are the Veznat?”

“An ancient legend, captain. About a vibrant culture completely wiped out.”

“It kind of reminds me of Atlantis.” Said Kim. Then at some of the blank stairs around the conference table, he added, “An ancient earth legend. About an island that fell into the sea.”

“I suppose it’s comparable.” Said Neelix diplomatically. Though instead of a natural disaster, the Veznat were attacked.”

“By who?” Asked Janeway.

“I really can’t say. It varies from story to story. I’ve heard everything from Kazon to Gods.”

“And you sure this is the area the legend is based off?” She asked.

Neelix shrugged. “It certainly fits. The legend has it that when the Veznat culture was destroyed it tore a whole in the fabric of space to the realm of spirits. Travelers talked of seeing loved ones long dead, and warnings from the Veznat themselves to turn around before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” Asked Paris. 

“Well legend has it that if you go too far, you’ll enter into the spirit world, never to return.” Neelix turned his focus back to Janeway. “Honestly I never really believed it, myself. I certainly had no idea there could be a real patch of space it was referring to, so far from Talax. Still I’m surprised I didn’t see it on my own.”

Janeway raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t? Who told you then?”

“Actually it was Commander Chakotay who asked me about it.” answered Neelix.

Chakotay stiffened as the entire conference room turned to stare at him.

“Commander,” Said Janeway, eyes gleaming with curiosity, “How did you hear about the Veznat?”

Chakotay could feel the back of his neck heating up again as he answered. “My father told me.”

“Your father?”

“Or a spectre that looked like my father.” Chakotay clarified. He was being careful to speak directly to Janeway and not look at the rest of the senior staff while he talked. The last thing he wanted was to look in any of their eyes and see pity.

“It does seem like quite a coincidence.” Janeway conceded. “Still I’m not convinced everything here is as it seems. We’ll continue on course. But I want you all to keep investigating. I want to start seeing some hard facts and soon, dismissed.”

\---

When Chakotay got back to his quarters this time, his father was nowhere to be seen. Eyes heavy and feet hurting, he was too emotionally exhausted to even worry about being alone in the same quarters his dead father had recently stood and calmly explained to him where they were. He lay down on his side, clutching a pillow and promptly fell asleep.

\---

When Paris and Kim made it down for dinner at the end of their shift, the mess hall, despite being busy, was decidedly more quiet than usual. The atmosphere was tense and bits of whispered conversation kept slipping out of the unusually hushed buzz of the room.

“If we had any sense at all, we’d high tail it right back where we came from. I’d rather take an extra couple of years to get home than die in this hell pit.”

“It was him. I know the captain said not to trust the spectres, but I know it was him!”

“I trust Janeway. She’s never steered us wrong before. I mean, she wouldn’t let us die out here, right?”

“God, it’s depressing in here.” Paris said to Kim as they made their way to a table. 

“Can you blame them?” asked Kim. “It’s kind of hard to ignore dead loved ones showing up and telling you you’re heading to your death.”

“But we’re not.” countered Paris. “Old Talaxian fairy stories and a tear to the spirit world? How can anyone actually believe that?”

“I dunno.” Said Kim in a hushed tone. “I mean, how do we know they aren’t ghosts?”

Paris looked at Kim in disbelief. “Oh not you too. Aren’t you supposed to be a man of science?” 

Kim shrugged. “All I’m saying is that we’ve been searching since this all started and we haven’t found anything. Science is about disproving, well so far we can’t disprove anything.”

Paris opened his mouth to answer but faltered when nothing came out. “Ghosts aren’t real.” He finally said lamely. But Kim looked unconvinced.

\---

Janeway shared a relieved smiled when Chakotay walked into her office.

“Coffee?” she asked him, out of reflex, then looked sheepish when she realised her misstep. “Is there an herbal tea blend you like?” She amended.

“I’m good, thank you.” He made his way in and sat down on her couch. “So what’s on your mind, Kathryn?” he asked, though he had a pretty good idea already.

She sat down across from him, with a drink of her own--coffee, black--and sighed. “Am I doing the right thing, Chakotay?”

“Let me guess, you had a visitation last night?”

“My father.” said Janeway. “You know, he’s the man who taught me to be a skeptic? To look for answers in science, not superstition.”

Chakotay raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

“You’re a spiritual man, Chakotay. And I know you’ve already had a visit of your own. What do you think? Does it feel plausible?”

“Maybe.” Chakotay answered honestly. “I’m not really an expert. But something about all this doesn’t sit right. It all feels too neat. Fits together too well.”

Janeway looked suddenly relieved. “Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one.” she said. “I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something here we’re not supposed to see.”

“A mystery.” Said Chakotay his eyes twinkling.

“And one I plan to get to the bottom of.” Janeway promised taking a long sip of her coffee.

 

 

**21 weeks**

“You’re making a mistake.” called Chakotay’s father as Chakotay criss crossed his quarters getting ready for the morning shift. 

“It’s my mistake to make!” Chakotay called back pulling his uniform on over his head.

“The living were never meant to enter the realm of the dead.” said Kolopak sternly. 

“I’ll take my chances.” answered Chakotay stubbornly, heading out the door.

“Think of the baby! You're being selfish!” Was the last thing Chakotay heard as the door closed behind him.

\---

“This is getting ridiculous.” said an exasperated Janeway as Chakotay walked into the conference room. “I can’t hear myself think for dead relatives trying to warn me away.”

“Whatever it is they do not want us to find, we must be getting close.” suggested Tuvok.

“I hope we find it soon.” said Janeway. “Before it escalates much further.”

Just then the door to the conference room opened again and in walked Paris, looking particularly pale and on edge.

“Tom, are you alright?” asked Janeway.

Paris nodded. “Shuttlecraft accident.” he explained, and most of the table seemed to understand. “I’ll be fine.”

Chakotay looked over the shaken Paris, and nodded to Janeway. They were getting close now.

\---

Things finally came to a head that afternoon on the bridge. They were moving forward at warp 6, with still no readings other than the occasional ghost energy readings of Baytart’s, though Kim pointed out they were beginning to happen more frequently, when suddenly one of Veznat appeared right in the middle of the bridge.

STOP. YOU MUST STOP NOW.

“Who are you?” asked Janeway. 

WE ARE THE VEZNAT. STOP NOW OR YOU WILL BE LOST FOREVER.

Janeway seemed unmoved. “You seem awfully concerned for our well-being.”

YOU TRESPASS ON OUR SPACE. The Veznat tried again. And Chakotay noticed a new edge to its voice.

“Rather irritable for a ghost, wouldn’t you say?” he asked Janeway.

“It does seem unusual.” she agreed.

IF YOU CONTINUE AT THIS SPEED YOU WILL DIE. The Veznat said again, its voice now reaching pure panic. 

“Explain to us what’s going on, or we’re going to keep going.”

WE CANNOT.

Janeway simply shrugged. “Alright.”

ALRIGHT! I WILL TALK BUT YOU MUST STOP NOW!

“Full stop Mr. Paris.” said Janeway calmly.

A moment later Paris confirmed, “Full stop.” And the stars in the view screen had ceased to move.

The Veznat apparition sighed in relief. 

Janeway stood up and looked their guest in the eye. “Alright, we’ve stopped. Now we’d appreciate an explanation.”

The Veznat hesitated. An idea suddenly occurred to Chakotay. “Those energy signatures, they’re cloaked ships, aren’t they?” He said, remembering Baytart’s comment about seeing the same thing in the Neutral zone. 

For a long time the Veznat said nothing. Then finally, YES.

“Were you afraid we’d run into you? Surely you could have just avoided us.” Said Chakotay. 

IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE The Veznat seemed fizzle in and out a bit , and looking at something not on the bridge. Finally he turned his attention back to Janeway and Chakotay. BEHOLD.

Suddenly the area in front of them lit up with what looked like thousands of spacecrafts, ranging in various sizes and shapes.With little ships buzzing back and forth between them all. 

Paris spoke first. “It’s a city.” He said, then looking at his readings, “Captain, the nearest one is only five hundred thousand kilometres away from us. Another couple of minutes, and we would have ran right into it.”

Another blink and it was all gone again. 

NOW YOU UNDERSTAND. Said the Veznat. PLEASE RESPECT OUR WISHES AND LEAVE OUR SPACE.

“But what is all this? Who are you hiding from?” asked Janeway. “Please,” she got up and walked towards the apparition. “We’re very curious. We mean you no harm.”

The alien looked at her. IF YOU TRULY MEAN US NO HARM YOU WOULD DELETE ANY RECORD OF US HERE AND LEAVE.

And with that the alien disappeared.

“No trace of the Veznat, Captain. It’s like they all just disappeared.” said Kim.

“Amazing.” said Janeway, her voice full of awe. “An entire civilization mere kilometres away. And we could fly right past them and never even know.” She turned her attention to Kim. “Mr Kim, did we get enough information to fly around the Veznat city?”

“Yes ma'am.”

Janeway returned to her chair and nodded. “Give us a wide-birth, Mr Paris. The moment we’re through, I want all records relating to the Veznat city destroyed. Engage.”

\---

Paris was surprised when he walked into the Mess Hall at 0300h to find a scattering of crewmen already there. Including Chakotay, with a mug of tea and seemingly absorbed in a data padd. He got a coffee for himself and walked to Chakotay’s table.

“Do you mind?” He indicated the chair across from Chakotay.

Chakotay nodded and put the padd down.

“So, recent events making it hard for you to sleep too, huh?” Paris asked.

“Well that and leg cramps.” 

Paris smiled and lazed back in his chair. “I guess I’m just glad it’s over.” he didn’t elaborate, but the memory of him that morning white faced and shaking was still pretty fresh in Chakotay’s mind. 

“Nothing like ghosts of the past to suddenly have you wondering about your future.” 

Paris raised his head back up. “Your worried about the future? You mean...” His gaze drifted briefly down.

“Kolopak accused me of acting in my own self interest a few times.” Chakotay elaborated. “And yes, I realise it was the Veznat trying to keep us away from their city, but I’m starting to wonder--I’m in danger every day. This whole ship is. Am I being selfish bringing a child into it?”

“You’re worried about her?”

“I’m probably just being paranoid. But lately it just keeps circling my head. What if something happens to her? What if something happens to me? Will she be OK without me?”

“Not paranoid.” said Paris seriously. “God, I’ve been going over the same things since the moment I found out you were pregnant.”

“If I recall you wanted me to terminate.” said Chakotay seriously, but Paris saw a lightness in his eyes that let him know he wasn’t holding it against him. 

“Yeah, well I was scared.” said Paris. “I mean, I still am, but I’m handling it now, at least.” He felt the tips of his ears burn. He wasn’t exactly proud of how he handled those early weeks. “You don’t know what kind of a father Owen Paris was. You’re afraid of not being there for her, well if that’s all I do to her, she’ll be lucky.”

“You’re not your father, Tom.” said Chakotay. 

Paris let out a short sardonic laugh. “Yeah, and what do you know about my father?”

“Very little.” Chakotay admitted. “But I know you. I know you love her already. And I know that you’re one of the most basically decent people I’ve ever served with. I know you’ll do your best for her.”

“Yeah?” Paris looked genuinely surprised. Then he grinned. “Well don’t let it get out. I have a reputation to keep up, you know. I need to keep my edge with the crew, you know.”

Chakotay grinned. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that."

"Gee thanks."


	4. Chapter 4

**24 weeks**

 

“How are you feeling, Commander?” Asked the Doctor as he did a preliminary scan of Chakotay, focusing especially on Chakotay’s ever growing abdomen. 

“My feet are swelling, I’m getting headaches, my back aches, I can’t sleep through the nights, either from hot flashes or leg cramps, I’m finding it harder and harder to find my centre of balance, I’m always hungry and I’m even hornier than I was at 15.”

“All perfectly normal.” said The Doctor putting his medical tricorder away. “I’ll say this about Q, he did a very thorough job. If this were a planned pregnancy you’d be due for another round of hormone treatments about now.”

“So you’re saying there’s nothing you can do?”

“Relax, Commander, you’ll adjust.” said The Doctor completely without sympathy. “You’ll be happy to know the baby is normal. And up to .6 kilograms. Exactly where she should be.” The Doctor smiled smugly, as though it was his own expertise keeping the child so healthy. He put his tricorder down and picked up an instrument Chakotay didn’t recognize. “Now, Commander, if you could just lie down on the biobed...”

“What are you doing?”

“I just need to extract some of the baby’s DNA. I want to do a scan for any genetic diseases. Now please relax, this will only hurt for a second...” explained The Doctor, guiding Chakotay into a resting position on the biobed.

Chakotay’s communicator chimed and Janeway’s voice rang out over the com line. “Commander, we’ve just entered orbit of the class M planet.”

“I’m on my way, Kathryn." Chakotay pushed himself off the biobed so quickly he lost his balance and had to grab the bed to stay upright. 

“Well, another time then, Doctor.” He said making his way out of sickbay as quickly as he could.

“This isn’t over, Commander!” The Doctor called after him as the doors closed behind him.

\---

Walking down the crowded alien market Chakotay couldn’t help but notice the way everyone kept glancing at him and giving him a wider birth than the other market goers.

“You alright?” Because of the busy crowded market, the away team had split up into teams of two to find what they needed to resupply on the secluded pre-warp planet, and Chakotay had somehow found himself weaving through the crowd with Paris. “You seem a bit on edge.” Paris added.

“Maybe I was the wrong person to lead this away mission. I think I’m drawing too much attention.”

“Male pregnancies are the norm here.” Said Paris in a hushed voice so they wouldn’t be overheard. “I’ve seen three others since we’ve entered the market.”

“Then why does everyone keep staring at me?” Chakotay hissed.

Paris cocked his head to the side and whispered back lightly, “It could be because you’re beautiful.”

For some reason that he couldn’t quite figure out hearing Paris talk like that rubbed Chakotay the wrong way. “I doubt that’s the reason.”

“You sure?” asked Tom. “Because you might not be aware of it, but you’re glowing.”

“I’m not glowing.” said Chakotay, but even as he said it he caught a pair of women glancing over and the look in their eyes was certainly not the same look of curiosity and fascination he’d gotten used to from the crew back on Voyager. He glanced over the Paris who was giving him a self-satisfied look and stiffled a groan.

“Come on.” He growled picking up his pace. “The sooner we find what we need the sooner I can get off this planet."

\---

Tom charmed the alien woman working the kiosk while Chakotay covertly took a few readings of the food with the tricorder.

“Yeah, we’re from the Northern continent.” said Paris easily, referring to a continent that didn’t exist. “It’s much colder there, we don’t grow most of these fruits.”

Chakotay slipped his tricorder back into place and picked up a bumpy orange and purple fruit that had registered as edible. “I’m sorry, what are these called?” he asked the woman politely. 

She grinned widely at Chakotay, her gaze moving briefly to the now visible baby bump and back up. “Those are called tamals.” she said. “Very good for the baby.” She added slyly. 

“Whatever my darling wants.” said Tom, with a playful grin. “How much are they?”

\---

“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” said Chakotay after they’d left the kiosk and blended back into the crowd.

“I know you’re in a sour mood, but I’m just so happy to be planet-side again, I don’t care.” answered Paris grinning. 

“I am not in a sour mood.”

“You’ve been annoyed since we arrived and one of the natives immediately tried to get you to sit down.” countered Paris. "But whether you like it or not, you’re pregnant, and visibly so. I know you don’t like attention, but you’re going to be getting lots of it until that baby comes, so you might as well enjoy--Ooof.”

Tom looked down to see a young girl, no older than the human equivalent of 9 or 10 years old, with long blonde hair and intelligent blue eyes on the floor in front of him.

Tom blinked, still for maybe five full seconds, before he suddenly realised that she’d fallen.

“You alright?” he asked, helping her up.

The girl took his hand and let him help her up, but then she looked away, too shy to answer his question.

“Antika!” another girl called her from a nearby public clearing. “Stop playing around! You’re caught.”

Antika gave Paris another shy look over her shoulder, smiled just a bit, and ran off to join her friends in running around the clearing in some kind of organized chaos. 

Paris was still staring after her when Chakotay looked back at him. Chakotay patted his shoulder softly and said, "I know." before hinting that they should move on and finish their work.

 

**26 weeks**

“Any headaches?” asked the doctor while he read the scan readings he was taking.

“No.” said Chakotay.

“Any vision changes? Blurring, double vision, spots, flashing lights, temporary memory loss, that sort of thing?”

“No.”

“Any more puffiness or swelling around your eyes, hands or feet than before?”

“No.”

“Any pain in your upper abdomen? Any vomiting?”

“No.”

“Well, Commander, everything looks normal here.” he put the medical tricorder down and prepared a hypospray. “It’s just an iron supplement.” he told Chakotay as he injected it into his neck. 

“She’s coming along rather nicely, in fact.” the Doctor continued. “One thing you might find interesting is that the nerves in her ears have been developing. She should be able to hear you now if you want to talk to her.”

“Talk to her?” asked Chakotay skeptically.

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s up to you of course. Some parents feel it helps them bond with the child. But she’ll learn your voice either way.” he said. “Have you given any thought to names yet?”

Chakotay shook his head. “If we were back in the Alpha Quadrant there’d be a naming ceremony. I know I could just choose one anyways, but I feel like I’d be cheating her.”

“Well she does have two different cultural heritages.” pointed out the Doctor. “Perhaps Mr. Paris might have some ideas.”

“You’re suggesting I give her a European name?”

“You need to call her something.” said the Doctor unsympathetically while he finished up and put his tools away. “I don’t care if it’s Bolian so long as I have something to write down on the birth certificate.

\---

“Look at that.” said Takahashi popping an algae puff into her mouth and glancing across the room to where Paris was absorbed in some kind of work on a data padd when Chakotay walked over with his own plate and food and sat down across from him.

Paris immediately put his padd down and the two of them quickly fell into serious conversation.

“There’s something going on between them.” finished Takahashi.

“They’re having a baby together. I’m sure they have a lot to talk about.” said Yule shrugging it off.

“Besides, Tom would tell me if they’d gotten together.” added Kim, but he didn’t sound as sure as Yule.

“They slept together once and he never told you about that.” Takahashi pointed out.

“That’s different. A one night stand is one thing, but he’d tell me if he’d gotten into a serious relationship.”

Across the room, he saw Paris frown down on Chakotay’s almost untouched plate and even though he couldn’t hear him, Kim could tell he was encouraging him to eat properly.

“I mean, I think he would.” amended Kim still watching them.

 

**week 28**

“Captain, I’m reading two ships on an intercept course.” announced Kim from his station.

“On screen.”

Kim entered the commands and two sleek ships appeared magnified moving towards them. “I think they might be military ships, Captain. I’m reading shields and a huge weapons array. The lead ship is hailing.”

Janeway nodded to Kim and an alien in a white militaristic uniform and a red scarf wrapped over his head appeared on the screen. “This is Captain Trivius, of the Bay-Lahn Empire Fleet. You’ve entered Bay-Lahn space. Please state your identity and your intentions.”

Janeway stood up, followed by Chakotay half a second later, standing slower so as not to lose his balance during a first contact and potentially dangerous situation.

“I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. We’re only passing through on our way home.”

Trivius frowned and fiddled a moment with a nearby console. “On your way home? There’s no record of you having passed through our space previously.”

Janeway, sensing no hostility, just simple curiosity, smiled her most disarming smiled and said, “It’s a long story. But if you’d like, you and any members of your crew are welcome to come on board for a tour of the ship, we’d be happy to tell you all about it.”

Trivius considered the offer for a moment allowing the corner of lip to quick up just a hint. “It would be our pleasure.”

\---

“Seventy Thousand light years?” said Trivius in awe after hearing their story. “I can’t even imagine suddenly finding myself so far from home. How have you managed for so long?”

Trivius and the Bay-Lahn had turned out to be much more personable than they had expected. As it turned out, the Bay-Lahn Empire was a vast, powerful empire that spanned hundreds of lightyears, not entirely unlike the Federation.

Chakotay missed Janeway’s answer when Paris walked over at that moment with two champagne glasses in his hands and passed one to Chakotay.

“I got you a drink.”

“Tom...” Chakotay started but Paris cut him off.

“It’s just ginger ale. I thought you might want to feel normal for a bit.” he whispered with a conspiratorial smile. He clinked their glasses. “Cheers.”

Chakotay, looked gratefully around the room, full of Voyager crewmembers in dress uniforms and Bay-Lahn, almost all holding identical glasses. He took a sip or his own glass, tasting carbonation and syrup. “Thanks.” he said.

“Actually Commander, do you mind if I talk to you for a moment?”

Chakotay glanced over to Janeway who nodded and excused himself from the conversation.

“What do you think of the Bay-Lahn?” 

Chakotay thought about it. “They seem pleasant enough.” he answered honestly. “Friendly, talkative. We’ve certainly met more hostile aliens. Why?”

“You don’t find them a bit weird?”

“Weird how?” asked Chakotay wishing Paris would just get to the point.

“The scarfs they wear...” 

Chakotay glanced around the room, it was hard to miss the predominantly red scarfs they all seemed to wear, with maybe a few blue ones mixed in here and there, he had assumed it was part of the uniform. He looked back at Paris. “Yes?”

“Well the blue scarfs don’t seem to be treated so well.”

At first Chakotay wasn’t sure what Paris was talking about. And then he noticed the uniform differences, aliens with red scarfs had twice as many clasps, shoulder pads, and just in general seemed larger and more impressive. Still it didn’t mean...the thought stopped dead when he noticed just how segregated they were, not even talking to one another. Then he saw one of the aliens with a red scarf join a group of starfleet officers while an alien with a blue scarf, he quietly withdrew as she came. Somewhere on the other side of the room he watched an alien with a blue scarf scramble to get out of the way of an oblivious alien with a red scarf on time. 

It seemed to be one of those things, once seen, he couldn’t stop seeing, he thought as he noticed an alien with a blue scarf give Trivius another glass that he took absently without saying a thing, all the while smiling charmingly at Janeway.

“Some sort of caste system?” he asked Paris.

Paris shrugged. “Just something to keep an eye on I guess.” he said.

Chakotay nodded. “I’ll put it in my report.” he promised. 

 

**week 29**

 

Chakotay woke up feeling like he’d barely slept at all. Which considering the leg cramp that woke up him up at one point in the night, and the other point where the baby kicked his bladder, he supposed he hadn’t.

He was almost ready for his bridge shift, sighing as he caught sight of how huge he’d gotten in the mirror when he heard “Doctor to Commander Chakotay?”

“Chakotay here.”

“Commander, I’ve finished analyzing the latest rounds of tests, there is a matter I would like to discuss with you at your earliest convenience.”

Chakotay felt his blood run cold. The last test the Doctor had done had been a DNA extraction to screen for genetic disease. “Is everything alright?”

“Nothing too serious, but I would like to talk to you in person at your earliest convenience.”

“Understood.” said Chakotay, still feeling the weight of the doctor’s words on his shoulder. Even if it was minor, the idea that there could be anything wrong with the baby disturbed him a lot more than he expected.

\---

When Chakotay arrived in sickbay, Paris was there too, halfway through a shift, currently being spent organizing crew tissue samples, but he stopped and smiled at Chakotay when he walked in. Chakotay wondered if he knew what the Doctor had discovered, and if he could take the smile as reassurance or not.

“For the most part I didn’t find anything too concerning,” explained the Doctor, “but she has inherited a gene that will make her susceptible to certain types of psychosis. I believe she inherited it from you, in fact.”

Chakotay tensed. “But it was deactivated...”

“A deactivated gene can still be passed down.” said the Doctor indifferently. “Now you could do what your mother did and have the gene deactivated before she’s born, but the procedure is invasive,” the Doctor explained the procedure, “and there is a slight risk?” 

“Risk?” Chakotay looked up concerned.

“No more than usual. Invasive procedures always carry some risk of exposure to infection.” the Doctor reassured. “Of course, you could always opt out of the procedure. There is always the chance no psychosis will develop, and if it does, there are many effective treatments available.”

“There were always treatments, my grandfather still used to think he could turn into a wolf.”

The Doctor cocked his head, “Then it sounds like you have a good idea of the risks the other way too. It’s your decision either way.”

Chakotay went quiet, considering. He glanced up, looking for Paris, and spotted him all the way across the other side of the room, seemingly absorbed in his work so Chakotay could at least have the illusion of privacy.

“Tom.” Chakotay asked, raising his voice slightly so he’d be heard. “What do you think?”

The scanner Paris was using fumbled in his hands and finally clattered on the floor. He collected himself and looked back over at Chakotay, to clarify he’d heard right. 

Chakotay couldn’t help the slightest bit of a smile as he waited Paris out.

“It’s you who has to do the procedure. And you know a lot more about the gene than I do.” 

“She’s your daughter too.” Chakotay pointed out. “And you know a lot more about the procedure and the risks either way.”

“Alright, if it were me,” said Paris carefully, “I’d go for the procedure. But that’s just me.” He repeated for emphasis.

“It would make things simpler.” Chakotay agreed. “And probably easier on her in the long run, if the procedure was successful.”

Paris nodded. “It’s really pretty routine.”

Chakotay turned his attention back the Doctor who had been patiently waiting for their little discussion to play out. “Alright Doctor, when can we start?”

The Doctor looked over at Paris, both surprised at Chakotay’s sudden decisiveness. “We can do it right now, if you’re sure.” he said.

Chakotay nodded and laid down on the biobed. “Go ahead.”

The Doctor prepared a hypospray and pressed it into Chakotay’s neck and the world disappeared around him.

 

**week 31**

 

Paris couldn’t help admiring the giant space station as Voyager docked. It seemed to go for miles, in the same sleek style as the Bay-Lahn ships.

“Wow.” Kim said out loud what the rest of the bridge crew was thinking. 

“Alright, as of this moment, you’re all officially on shore leaf.” announced Janeway. “Make us look good.”

Paris logged out of station and turned around, automatically seeking out Chakotay before he remembered again that he wasn’t scheduled today. Instead Kim walked up behind him slapping him on the back. “Come on, let’s go explore.”

\---

The inside of the station was no less impressive. Filled with more species of aliens than Paris could even count, all of which, except the Bay-Lahn he’d never seen before. And he enjoyed listening in on part standard, part alien bits of conversation when people passed by, as the universal translator struggled to figure out so many languages all at once.

“So what do you want to do first?” asked Kim. “Food, look for a bar, recreation?”

“Let’s check out the stores. If we can find any baby things, we can save the replicator rations later.”

“Of course.” said Kim.

“What?”

“Just you and that baby. You know it’s going to be born in two months and you’re not going to have any time for fun anymore. You should be enjoying single unattached life while you can.”

Paris smirked. “Alright, you win. We’ll look for a bar. But I never thought I’d see the day.”

“What day is that?” asked Kim.

“The day Harry Kim encouraged me to be less responsible.”

\---

In the end they found a quiet corner in a bar at a table so low to the ground they were both sitting on little mats on the floor drinking something hot and slightly alcoholic out of mugs.

“It seems we barely see each other lately.” said Kim. “But I guess you’ve been busy.”

“Mostly distracted I guess.” said Paris putting his hand around the mug to test again if it was cool enough to drink. “Can I make a confession?”

Kim sat up straight, ready to hear his suspicions confirmed about Paris and Chakotay’s relationship, but instead Paris said, “I’m terrified.”

“Terrified?”

“You said it yourself, Harry. Two months. I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Well you still have two more months.” Harry reassured him. “That’s still time to prepare.”

“Honestly I think if I had another year I wouldn’t be any more ready.” said Paris. “Not that I’d want another year if it was an option. I mean, I’m excited too, I’m just terrified. I can barely take care of myself, how am I supposed to be responsible for another human being?”

“You do alright.” smiled Kim.

Paris gave a sheepish smile. “I guess I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.” Kim watched him check his drink again, and this time found it was cool enough to drink and picked it up and take a long drink. “It’s not bad. Sweet.” he told Kim.

Kim tried his own. “You know, Tom. I think that might be normal.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier.” said Tom. “This whole thing took me by surprise. I mean who expects to accidentally knock up a guy?”

“I’ve seen weirder.” said Kim. “And with worse results.”

“I’ll drink to that.” said Paris dryly clinking Kim’s glass before taking another sip.

\---

Chakotay was sitting on his couch, feet up, reading a data padd when someone chimed his door.

“Come in?”

Torres stepped inside and looked around. “You’re not ready.”

“Ready?” Chakotay frowned.

“We were going to head over the Bay-Lahn station together. Remember?”

“No.” said Chakotay honestly, “It must have slipped my mind.” 

Torres raised an eyebrow. “Just like you forgot you promised to come down to engineering during your last shift to look at the new warp schematics?”

Chakotay’s eyes widened. “I completely forgot.”

Torres’ expression shifted from sceptical to concerned. “You feeling alright?” she asked. “Maybe you should talk to the Doctor.”

“I did.” Chakotay reassured her. “Apparently a bit of absent mindedness is common in the third trimester.” He put his padd down, and forced himself up off the couch. Torres moved to help him, but he shook his head, and stood up slowly enough to avoid getting dizzy. 

“Well in that case, I’m going to start writing down all our appointments.” Torres smirked.

“You’re enjoying this.”

“So I thought we’d do some shopping.” Said Torres, deliberately avoiding Chakotay’s accusation. “Think you’ll be alright on your feet that long or should we go looking for food instead?”

Chakotay shook his head. “I’m sure I can handle some shopping.”

\---

“So, speaking of memory,” asked Torres, glancing at Chakotay, between sorting a table of various jewelry. “is it true you don’t remember the, you know...” she coughed as she tried to find the right word, “the conception?”

Chakotay felt his neck burn. “Where did you hear that?”

“Apparently Tom told Harry, who told Nanami, who told Vorik...”

“Alright, I get it.” Chakotay interrupted her. “And if you really want to know, I do remember now. Bits and pieces, enough to know it really happened.” The sensation of heat creeped further up his neck and threatened his ears. 

“God, I couldn’t imagine having a baby with Tom Paris.” said Torres, picking up something long and beaded with various loops and tried to figure out how it worked.

“I think it’s for longer hair.” Chakotay suggested motioning vaguely to a group of green skinned women with thick long hair done up elaborately with something similar. Torres sighed and put it back. “It could be worse.” Chakotay allowed, “it could be Tuvok.”

The comment caught Torres by surprise and she choked trying not to laugh. “He’d micromanage the whole pregnancy. ‘Commander, you have not consumed all 187 recommended daily nutritional supplements. I must insist you drink this shake.’” Torres abruptly shoved an imaginary class in Chakotay’s face, doing her best Tuvok impression.

Chakotay grinned, even though he knew he probably shouldn‘t. “Or Neelix.” he added thoughtfully. “Remember how anxious he got when he thought he was going to have a child with Kes?”

“I don’t think Seven would even know how to process it. She’d probably go back and forth between yelling at your stomach and drowning you in baby supplies.”

“Suddenly Tom seems almost tolerable.” commented Chakotay.

“Mmm. Speak of the Devil.” said Torres looking past Chakotay to a crowd of people coming out of one of the lifts. In the middle and walking towards them was Paris and Kim talking animatedly to each other. She watched as Paris spotted them first, and his entire face lit up in a way Torres wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Paris do before. He pointed them out to Kim and they bee-lined over.

“Small world.” said Kim, smiling at them.

Paris gaze went right past Torres and straight to Chakotay was standing, hand resting on his stomach. “She’s moving a lot today, huh?”

Torres frowned, she hadn’t noticed anything, but Chakotay nodded. Paris walked over, stepped right into his personal space, and followed Chakotay’s hand across his stomach.

“She’s not too bad today, at least she’s not kicking right now.” said Chakotay. “But she’s definitely moving around. Not that she’s ever still.” he added with a hint of irritation.

“Sounds like she’s already coming after her father.” joked Kim.

But Chakotay didn’t look irritated as Paris bent over him and said, “Only in your third trimester and you’re already doing your old man proud.” 

If anything, he looked like he was enjoying it as much as Paris.

Torres glanced over to Kim to see if he noticed it too but Kim seemed to be trying to catch her eye. “You’ll never guess what I found.” He said when he succeeded, pulling something out of a bag he was carrying. “It’s an EPS relay, but it’s about twice as efficient as ours. I thought we could take a look at it, see if we can adapt it to our own systems.”

“And half the size.” Torres noted.

“You should have seen him when he found it.” said Paris. “He lit up like a Christmas tree.”

“We should go back to that shop, see what else we can find that we might use.” suggested Kim. “You’ll be better at figuring out what’s what than I am.”

Torres looked back at Chakotay, guilty. “We only just got here.” she said slowly.

“I still have a few hours.” Paris offered. “I can babysit if Chakotay wants to keep exploring, while you guys go look at engine parts.” 

“Babysit?” asked Chakotay.

“Alright, I just want an excuse to talk at you as much as I can so the baby learns my voice.” Tom amended. “Is that better?”

“You always say the sweetest things.” Chakotay deadpanned. 

“So we’re good then.” said Kim.

Chakotay looked over to Torres, who in turn was giving the most pleading look she could manage. “Alright.” he relented. “I’ll see you both back on the ship by 1700.”

“Yessir.” said Kim and Torres, and headed off.

“Is it me?” asked Torres once they were out of earshot. “Or are those two getting close?”

“You know, Nanami has a few theories about that.”

\---

“So what do you want to do?” asked Paris once they were alone. “Me and Harry were thinking about checking out their rec facilities, we heard there might be some kind of game on.”

Paris had a dopey grin on his face, and now that Chakotay noticed he realised that sweet smell on his breath was probably some kind of alcohol. He remembered a time, long before Voyager when Paris and alcohol were rarely separate. It said a lot about the pilot that he could now have a casual drink every once in a while and it no longer raised alarm bells the way it once had. He’d come a long way.

“Actually I heard there are some museums a few floors down. And maybe if we have time, there are some religious temples on board that allow tourists.”

Chakotay expected at least some debate, instead Paris simply nodded. “Yeah, a museum sounds interesting.”

\---

Chakotay finished looking through the displays of the latest Bay-Lahn cultural museum and made his way back to the bench he’d left Paris at and found him still lying there, now sound asleep.

He put his hand on his shoulder. “Rise and shine.”

Paris jumped awake. “Huh...what? I’m awake!”

“If you were bored you should have said something.” Chakotay chided him, sitting down beside him on the bed to rest his swollen feet. “We could have done something else.

“No, I was just watching this display on the...” he squinted his eyes a bit, still not adjusted to being open, “Bonarius? And their entry into the noble Bay-Lahn Empire.”

“Don’t patronize me, Tom.” said Chakotay. “I talked to you already about being chivalrous.”

“Yeah I was a bit bored.” Tom admitted, then shrugged, “I dunno, you were just so interested. I didn’t really mind. And that is true.” 

Chakotay was quiet for a moment while he seemed to be figuring what to do with that. But when he did talk again, he sounded decidedly less annoyed. “Next time speak up. I’m sure there’s enough to do on this station we can find something we both enjoy.”

Paris gave it a moment’s thought. “I saw signs for an observation deck. Or it’s starting to get around dinner time, we could try some of the local food?”

“You know, food sounds pretty good about now.” Chakotay agreed and even pretended he hadn’t noticed that both of Paris’ suggestions let him sit down.

\---

“We’re not really from around here.” Paris told the server when she came by. “Any recommendations.”

“I think I know just the thing.” said the waitress flashing them both a grin and a wink before heading out.

“What's that supposed to mean?” asked Paris.

“I think she thinks we’re a couple.” 

Paris straightened, and Chakotay saw his ears tinge a distinct red. He turned back to where they’d last seen her walk off. “Should we--”

Chakotay shook his head. “I don’t think it matters.”

Paris relaxed, looking a bit foolish but quickly brushing it off. “You know,” he said changing the subject, “I’ve been thinking about what you said about names. You know, back in the 20th century, when everyone in North American followed European naming conventions, a lot of people took two names. One family and given name and then another Indian name given to them by the tribe.”

“You’re suggesting we give her two names?” Asked Chakotay.

Paris shrugged. “Why not? She has two heritages. Besides, this way she gets to still have a naming ceremony whenever we finally get home, but we have something to call her in the mean time.”

Chakotay gave it some thought. “Alright, so what would we name her then?”

“Whatever we want. Though among my people it’s traditional to name a child after their grandparents or other older relatives.”

Chakotay looked unimpressed at the joke, but Paris just smiled a cheeky smile.

But instead of chiding, Chakotay asked, “So what is your mother’s name?”

“Emily.” said Paris. “Or we could go with Alanna or Shawna after my grandmothers. I mean, I understand if there’s another name you like the sound of better, or someone you admire you’d rather name her after, but I thought I’d suggest it anyways.”

Chakotay nodded. “I’ll give it some thought.” he said. 

The conversation had moved on to something a little more trivial when the waitress came back with some kind of platter. Paris thought it looked delicious, something green, fried with various kinds of smelly sauces on the side, though one look at Chakotay’s face, quickly turning the same shade as their entree told him the thought wasn’t mutual.

Chakotay was gone a moment later, and Paris was quickly up to go after him. “Is he alright?” asked the server.

“Yeah.” Tom answered quickly before going after him, “It’s a human pregnancy thing. Sometimes we get aversions. But it looks delicious, sorry we couldn’t stay.”

\---

Paris finally found Chakotay outside the restaurant near one of the many station viewing ports, still looking a little green, but otherwise alright. Slowly he walked up to him and put his hand on his back, rubbing it a bit. It was an intimate gesture, but somehow it felt right, and it reassured Paris just as much to touch him as he hoped it did for Chakotay to be touched. “You alright?” he asked.

Chakotay nodded. “Just a little embarrassed.” he admitted. “I thought I was done with aversions.”

“They come back sometimes in the third trimester. We can go eat on Voyager.” he suggested. “I think Neelix managed to track down some leola root.”

“God help me that actually sounds appetizing.” said Chakotay. “But I’d like to give my stomach a chance to settle first. You mentioned something about an observation lounge?”

\---

It had been a long day, Chakotay thought as they sat down on a bench and looked out at three of the four moons the space station, and he looked forward to just sitting and resting for a bit before going back to the ship.

Beside him, Paris sat down, not looking nearly as tired as Chakotay. But Paris wasn’t looking at Chakotay, he was staring transfixed at the view in front of him. “A lifetime in space, and you never really get tired of it, do you?” he asked Chakotay. He turned his attention to Chakotay and his smiled faltered a bit. “You alright? You look a bit out of it still.”

“No, I’m feeling a lot better. I’m just a bit tired.”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. I hear the third trimester wreaks havoc on your sleep cycle.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” said Chakotay.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Paris agreed. “You know, once the baby’s out, I’ll be happy to take her off your hands as often as you need. More even if you’ll let me.”

Chakotay smiled. “I’ll probably take you up on that.” He glanced out the viewing deck, it really was a breathtaking sight, even for people like him and Paris who spent a lot of time staring off into space, you still rarely saw sights like this. “Tom, I want to say, I appreciate the fact that you’re helping out so much, already. I know you didn’t ask for any of this.”

“You know, at first I was so terrified, but I have to say, I’m so excited about the idea of being a father. I mean, I wouldn’t have chosen the Delta Quadrant to bring her into the world in, and I’m scared to death of repeating the same mistakes as my father, but everything else--God, how can you love someone so much when you haven’t even met them yet?”

Chakotay was suddenly very aware of the small creature inside of him shifting around and felt a strange sort of privilege at the intimacy he was being allowed with his daughter that he knew Paris could never really share. 

“It’s weird how the idea of being a parent changes your perspective.” said Chakotay when he finally got around to answering. “Everything looks different.” and Paris really looked different, he thought, watching him sit there, staring out. Whether he ever wanted it or not, he and Paris were linked now. Held together by this thing growing inside of him. He wondered if given the choice if he would have chosen Paris, and he wondered if now that it’s happened if he’d change it if he could and wasn’t surprised to find himself thinking that he probably wouldn’t.

“It’s a beautiful view.” he said and Paris turned to look at him, and Chakotay found himself surprised like he always was at just how blue his eyes were. It was the sort of thing he would have wanted to do before all this started, but wouldn’t have acted on back then, but here, now, it suddenly felt right, like maybe he could trust Paris, and he leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

It was only a brief touch, and when he looked back, Paris was staring at him, surprised and his ears were almost the same shade of red as his uniform. “We should probably be getting back to the ship.” he said, fighting fluster. 

Chakotay was surprised, he didn’t think Paris ever got flustered. He certainly hadn’t been that night in his quarters, from what he could remember. He nodded, and started to stand up, and Paris took his hand and helped him make sure he didn’t lose his balance. “Thanks, Tom. I had a nice time.”

“Yeah.” said Paris as they walked back. “I think I did too.”

 

**Week 33**

 

“Commander, there’s a Bay-Lahn vessel approaching.” announced Kim from his station at Operations.

Chakotay confirmed the reading from his own station. “On screen, ensign. Captain to the bridge.”

“We’re being hailed.” said Kim the same moment that Janeway appeared on the bridge just as a dark skinned Bay-lahn in a decorated red scarf appeared on the view screen. “Is this the Voyager starship?” he asked.

“Yes.” answered Janeway carefully. “Who is this?”

“I’d rather not say too much.” said the Bay-Lahn captain. “I was wondering if we might speak one on one?”

“What’s this about?” asked Janeway.

The Bay-Lahn captain didn’t reply, instead he took a step to the side and a Bay-Lahn woman in a simple blue scarf stepped into view. “It’s about me, Captain.” she said. “Please, if I could come on board, I’d be happy to explain everything.”

\---

Chakotay, Janeway and Tuvok met the two Bay-Lahn as Torres beamed them over.

“Both signatures are clean, Captain. No sign of any weapons.” Janeway nodded and Torres finished the beam and their guests quickly materialized on the pads in front of them.

“I’m Captain Dorias. I understand that your ship is passing through Bay-Lahn space on a heading of 00 marque 8?”

“That’s right.” 

“I’ve also heard rumours that you are willing to grant asylum if asked.” said Captain Dorias.

“If asked, we will consider the request and it will be granted if we consider the claim valid.” Janeway explained to him.

“In that case, I would like to formally request asylum.” It was the woman in the blue scarf. In all their time in Bay-Lahn space, Chakotay hadn’t seen someone with a blue scarf so much as make eye contact to anyone without, but this woman not only stood proudly beside Captain Dorias, she spoke freely and looked to the Voyager crew and Captain Dorias as though they were equals.

“You understand, we’re going to need a lot more information before we can make a determination.” 

“Of course, Captain.” said the woman in the blue scarf. “Lead the way and we’ll be happy to explain everything.”

As they followed Tuvok and Janeway out, the Bay-Lahn women stopped briefly on her way past Chakotay and he watched her gaze inevitably drift down to his stomach as everyone’s did. But she remained quiet and soon her attention was back on the captain.

\---

Janeway called the entire senior staff to hear the Bay-Lahn out. As Chakotay sat down, he noticed Paris out of the corner of his eye staring at him. He glanced over and Paris quickly turned away, ears tingeing slightly pink. Chakotay had to fight a smile.

As it turned out, the woman was a very outspoken political activist named Jiva. “You see, among the Bay-Lahn, we are divided by religious castes. Those of us who wear blue scarves are considered unclean because we handle the dead and the sick. Because I speak for our people and because I dare to look those of higher castes as equals, so as to defile them, I have been declared an enemy of the state.” she explained.

“So you’re a fugitive.” said Janeway, mostly as a point of clarification. 

“I have broken no laws except the ones the unjust ones that infringe on the rights of my people.” said Jiva. “Laws that shouldn’t be laws in the first place.”

“Even so, the laws that she has broken are mostly minor. A slap on the wrist or a fine.” Captain Dorias explained. “We have reason however to fear that if she is taken into custody her punishment will be much worse.”

“What are those conclusions based on?” asked Tuvok.

“Precedent.” said Captain Dorias. “Jiva isn’t the first member of her caste to speak out. I’ve been asked to arrest others who have simply disappeared afterwards.”

“Disappeared?” asked Janeway. “What happened to them?”

“It’s likely they were sent to rural holding areas on the outskirts of the empire and are still there.” said Jiva. “They won’t kill me and risk creating a martyr, they just want me out of the way. Out of sight and out of mind so I stop being an inconvenience to them.”

“This brings up something else I’m finding curious.” said Janeway focusing her attention on Dorias. “You’re a military captain for the Bay-Lahn. Why are you bringing Jiva here instead of arresting her.”

“If word gets out I’ve done this, I will likely be court martialed, and even face imprisonment. But I know Jiva, and I believe in what she fights for, and I won’t be the one to turn her in.”

Janeway nodded. “So what is it exactly that you want from us?”

“In about 9 weeks you’re going to leave Bay-Lahn space and enter Tansi space." explained Jiva. "The Tansi have agreed to grant me political asylum. From there I can continue to speak out for my people.”

“Captain, I must point out the dangers of choosing to travel 6 weeks through alien space with one a political enemy on board. If Jiva were to be discovered and they tried to stop us, we would likely be at their mercy.” Tuvok pointed out.

“I could help you with that.” said Dorias. “Schematics to help disable their ships, routes you can take to avoid checkpoints and patrols. You’ll still be taking quite a risk if she’s discovered aboard your ship, Captain, but we can help mitigate it as much as we can.”

Chakotay could tell by the frown forming on Janeway’s face that she still wasn’t sure if she should or not. As noble as Jiva’s cause seemed to be, was it worth the risk to her own crew?

“I’d like to know more about this caste system.” said Chakotay. “How exactly does it work? Is it hereditary? How are your rights infringed upon?”

“I am lower caste because my parents were.” Jiva confirmed. “As members of my caste, my people are only allowed certain professions. If we do not wish to take care of the dead, sometimes we way become civil servants. Dealing with waste on the homeworlds or on ships or space stations. Or sometimes, if we are lucky we may be given a serving position.”

“We saw servants on Trivius’ ship.” Paris pointed out. “I saw a couple of them get practically run over by other Bay-Lahn who weren’t paying attention.”

“We essentially don’t exist to the upper castes.” explained Jiva. “Because we work with the dead, we essentially are already dead.”

“Captain Dorias doesn’t seem to share that opinion.” Tuvok pointed out.

“No.” Jiva smiled. “Dorias is one of the good ones.” She turned her attention to Chakotay. “You are with child, are you not?” she asked him.

“Yes.”

Jiva walked over to where Chakotay was sitting and raised her hand close to his stomach. “Do you mind?” she asked.

Chakotay shook his head and Jiva placed her bare hand on his stomach. “How much longer?” She asked.

“Eight weeks.”

She moved her hand closer to the centre of the bulge. “I can feel the baby kick.” She looked back up at Chakotay. “I would never be permitted to touch a pregnant Bay-Lahn.” she explained. “To do so, I could lose my hand and the child would be forever considered defiled. It would make it almost impossible for the child to find work or a place to live.”

Chakotay felt the baby kick again and a smile spread across Jiva’s face. She removed her hand. “Thank you, Commander. I’m honoured to have been allowed to have been afforded such a privilege.”

Chakotay looked over at Janeway.

“Well, I know my first officer’s position on the matter.” said Janeway wryly. She sighed and looked around the table to see Chakotay was far from the only sympathetic face.. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

\--- 

After Captain Dorias finished helping Kim and Tuvok with what they’d need to help make it out of Bay-Lahn space safely, Paris tagged along as Tuvok and Jiva escorted him back to his ship.

“Can I ask you a question, Captain? Just a thought I had from the briefing earlier. Is Dorias your real name?”

“You understand, I have to protect myself.” explained Dorias, answering the question without answering it at all. He gave Paris a little wink and Paris grinned.

When they reached the transporter room, Paris discovered names weren't the only thing they hadn’t bothered to mention when they were pleading their case to Janeway. 

“Be careful.” Jiva told Dorias, taking his hand and holding it for a long time. Paris doubted that was allowed by Bay-Lahn customs.

Dorias didn’t seem to mind though, in fact he took a step closer to her and and picked up a strand of her hair on the side of her face and let his fingers run its length. “I always am.” He pulled her hand into chest and leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips. “These seem like good people. Let them take care of you.” He told her and finally managed to let go of her so he could take her place on the transporter pad.

A moment later he was gone. 

“Come this way.” said Tuvok competely unmoved by the scene he just witnessed. “I will show you to your quarters.”

“I can’t imagine falling in love with a captain would go over well among your people.” Paris pointed out.

“It would be worse for him if we were discovered.” Jiva pointed out. “I have nothing to lose, I am already nothing in the eyes of the Bay-Lahn. Dorias however would lose everything and become nothing like me.”

“Will you ever see him again?” Paris asked.

“If he’s not discovered, eventually he plans to come join me in Tansi space. _If_.”

“You’re both sacrificing a lot.” Paris noted.

“My people are worth it. Love is a luxury I can’t afford right now. But can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Your commander, with the baby.” said Jiva. “Are you the father? Only, I noticed the way you watched me when I touched him.”

“I’m sorry we’ve met a lot of aliens who can do strange things.”

“Well as much as the Bay-Lahn associate superstitious supernatural abilities with my people, I’m afraid we’re actually quite plain.” Jiva reassured him.

“And yes.” Paris said, answering her earlier question. “I’m the father.”

“You’re very lucky.” said Jiva. “To be able to have a child with the person you love.”

Paris coughed. “We’re not...well it’s kind of complicated on the together part.”

They reached Jiva’s quarters. “Well if I were you, I’d figure it out quickly. You never know how much time you really have with someone.” she said before thanking Tuvok and disappearing into her quarters.

\--- 

Chakotay was in his quarters, freshly off-shift and shifting uncomfortably trying and failing to find a good position to sit in as he went over the information Dorias left them. He thought he’d finally managed something halfway alright when there was a chime at his door. He put the padd down when he saw it was Paris. “I think we should talk.”

He went and sat on the coffee table in front of Chakotay’s couch. 

“What’s going on?” asked Chakotay.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Chakotay frowned in confusion. “Tom, that was over two weeks ago.”

“You’re not answering the question.”

“I suppose because I wanted to.” said Chakotay carefully not sure where exactly Paris was going with all this.

“What does that mean?” asked Paris. “What did you mean by it?”

Chakotay was quiet for a moment, considering the question. “I don’t really know, other than that I wanted to kiss you. But if it upset you, I won’t do it again.”

“No--” said Paris quickly. “I mean, I don’t know, I just thought I had this whole thing figured out and you throw something like that at me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think.”

“I hope you’re not honestly surprised I’m attracted to you. I mean, considering how we got into this situation in the first place.” Chakotay pointed out.

“I guess I never really thought about it.” admitted Paris looking a bit sheepish, and Chakotay noticed his ears had gone red again. They seemed to do that a lot these days.

“No offense, Tom, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this flustered over just a kiss.”

“Yeah, well usually you can see if they go anywhere or if they don’t, and it doesn’t really matter in the long run.” said Tom.

“And this ones matters?” asked Chakotay.

“Of course it does. It always does with you. We’re having a baby together.”

“You know, I was the one who kissed you.” Chakotay pointed out calmly.

“So where do we go from that, then? What happens after the kiss?”

“Whatever you want.” said Chakotay seriously. “Tom, I won’t cut you out because you’re not interested. She’ll still be your daughter and we’ll still be friends. But I also won’t mind a more intimate relationship if you want one.” 

Paris went quiet, and Chakotay waited him out. He didn’t think he could lay it out more clearly than that.

“You know, I thought I had this all figured out. And then you went and kissed me and suddenly I realised all these strong feelings I’ve been having lately weren’t just about the baby.” He looked back up blue eyes met brown. “I think I want to kiss you, and I think that’s the most terrifying thing in the world.”

“We’ll take it slow.” Chakotay promised. And Paris leaned in and kissed him.

 

**35 weeks**

Paris walked through Chakotay’s quarters looking around. He’d technically been ready for the baby for months now, but as of this morning, suddenly all the sheets and bedding and been changed and washed, and clothes and diapers had all been organized and folded and ready to put away. On top of that, Paris wasn’t sure if he was imagining things or not, but everything in the room seemed to be gleaming.

“Chakotay?” He called out. He was around somewhere, he’d let him in, after all.

The door to the bedroom swished open and Chakotay walked out in his uniform but otherwise looking a mess with disheveled hair and large bags under his eyes. “Sorry, Tom, I was just getting something.” He held up a small rag.

“You know the ship does that for you.” said Tom, following Chakotay across the room where he started sterilizing the diaper changing table.

“I know, but it’s not as thorough as I’d like.” he answered.

“Have you slept?”

“A bit, but when I woke up early, I felt like I still had so much to...” He stopped talking when he glanced at Paris’ face. “What’s so funny?”

“Chakotay, I think you’re nesting.”

Chakotay frowned. He opened mouth twice to argue before finally giving up and saying, “I remember when my aunt nested, she repainted three rooms and washed every hanger in the house.”

“Yeah,” Paris agreed. “I’d say you’re probably doing alright if all you do is rewash the baby clothes and polish every surface in your quarters.” 

“I was considering submitting a request to Kathryn to repaint the room.” Chakotay confessed.

“I doubt she’d allow it. Besides, didn’t the Doctor tell you to take it easy?”

“Didn’t we talk about you mothering me?” Chakotay countered. 

Paris took a step towards Chakotay. “Yes, but I come in here and find you looking so disheveled and I worry.” He said, fixing Chakotay’s hair with his hand as he spoke. He gave Chakotay his best I’m innocent don’t be mad at me look.

“You abuse that face.” said Chakotay and he leaned forward and kissed Paris softly on the lips. 

Paris grinned and was about to reply when they were interrupted by a red alert and Kim’s voice called over the com system, “All senior officer’s please report to the bridge.”

\--- 

Chakotay slowly lowered himself down to take his place beside Janeway. It only took a quick look at his station console to tell him why there was a red alert.

“A Bay-Lahn ship.” he said. 

“They’re on an intercept course, Captain.” said Kim.

“This is the first ship we’ve seen since Jiva’s come on board.” Chakotay commented.

“Well the last thing we want to do is appear suspicious.” said Janeway. “Hold course.”

The Bay-Lahn ship hailed them and a middle aged woman in a red scarf appeared on the screen.

“Is this the Starship Voyager?” she asked.

Janeway stood and confirmed their identity. Chakotay stayed sitting this time.

“I am Captain Keeva. You are on a very unusual course for simply passing through our system. May I ask why?”

“We were having trouble with our navigational sensors. They’re fixed now, but I’m afraid we veered a bit off course.” Janeway explained in her best poker face.

Keeva’s attention briefly shifted off-screen. “Captain, we’re detecting a Bay-Lahn life signature aboard your ship. You’re not registered to be taking on passengers.”

“We didn’t realise there were any rules against it.” explained Janeway as if their passenger was nothing more than some wayward traveler looking for a lift. “We didn’t seen any harm.”

“We like to be informed when you are transporting our people out of our space.” explained Keeva. “I would like to request that you transport your passenger onto our ship.”

“I don’t think that’s really necessary.” said Janeway. “Our passenger is our guest, and we promised to take them to Tansi space.”

“I’m sorry Captain, but we can’t permit our citizens to just come and go without going through the proper channels. I am going to have to insist you beam your passenger over.” said Keeva.

“I won’t.” said Janeway, firmly. “Perhaps you could come here and we can discuss this?”

“This is most irregular. We will take your passenger back by force if necessary.”

“I think I’ve already made myself clear.” said Janeway.

"If that's your choice then." The Bay-Lahn ended the transmission.

“Captain, the Bay-Lahn vessel does have twice our fire power, and three times stronger shielding.” Tuvok pointed out.

“I guess we’re about to find out just how useful Dorias’ information is.” answered Janeway.

“The Bay-Lahn ship is charging its weapons.” announced Kim.

“Shields up.” Chakotay ordered. “Evasive maneuvers, Paris. Tuvok, target their port shielding and fire phasers. Remember we only want to disable them.”

The Bay-Lahn ship fired first.”

“Direct hit to our port nacelles. Shields at 70%.” said Tuvok as he fired their own phasers. “Direct hit on the Bay-Lahn ship. Their weapons are disabled.”

“One more phaser blast, target their engines.” ordered Chakotay. 

“Weapons locked.” said Tuvok.

“Fire.”

Two more phaser fires shot right through the Bay-Lahn shield effectively taking their engines out.

“Captain, the Bay-Lahn ship is hailing.” said Kim.

“On screen.” said Janeway. 

Keeva reappeared on the view screen. “Captain, this won’t end here. Are you sure you want to make an enemy of us while you are in our space?”

Just as she finished speaking the turbo lift doors opened and Jiva walked on to the bridge. A look of clarity passed over Keeva’s face.

“I see.” she said.

“I’m sorry, Captain.” said Jiva to Janeway. “I noticed the red alert I wanted to see what was going on.”

“Captain,” said Keeva, “You are involving yourself in affairs you don’t fully understand. I’m not sure what she has told you--”

“I’ve spoken only the truth.” Jiva interrupted. 

Keeva looked scandalized. “You are not permitted to speak directly to me.” She said coldly before returning her attention back to Janeway. “Captain, if you leave with her, you will be risking your entire crew for her sake. You caught us unawares but there will be more ships, and they will know that you know how to bypass our shields. Are you sure she’s worth it?”

“Where we’re from, every life is worth protecting.”

“You’re fighting to protect someone who is already dead.”

“She seems pretty alive to me.” answered Janeway, and ended the transmission. “Paris, get us away from here as fast as you can. Ensign Kim, I expect you to make sure every system is running at top form. The next three weeks are not going to be easy ones.”

 

**37 weeks**

 

“Well Commander, you’ll be happy to know it’s just Braxton Hicks contractions.” the Doctor reassured Chakotay after scanning him. “Perfectly normal at this stage, even at the frequency you’re getting them.”

“How will I know when it’s real labour?” asked Chakotay.

“If the contractions become regular and if they start coming more frequently, you should come see me right away.” Explained the Doctor. “Especially if they’re less than a minute apart. But hopefully we’ll have the baby out of there before that becomes an issue. Speaking of which we still need to schedule an appointment for your cesarean section. How does two weeks from today sound?”

“Two weeks sounds good. We’ll be out of Bay-Lahn space then.” Chakotay agreed. 

The Doctor frowned. “I know I’ve said this already, but I really think it would be better for both you and the baby if you took yourself off duty.”

“As soon as we’re out of Bay-Lahn space.” Chakotay promised. “It’s only for another week.”

“Commander, I’m sure Tuvok could handle--” The Doctor was interrupted by a sudden shake of the ship followed by a red alert. 

“Commander, we could use you on the bridge.” came Janeway’s tense voice.

“On my way, Captain.” Chakotay carefully stood up and he turned his attention back the Doctor. “We’ll talk later.”

\--- 

Chakotay arrived on the bridge to find the ship already in heated battle with two Bay-Lahn ship.

“Status?” He asked, and was quickly informed that the ships had begun firing on them without warning. Their intention seemed to be disable, but there have been a few close shots to essential systems.

“Target their weapons.” said Chakotay, and the real battle was underway.

In the end they barely managed to get away with impulse. But they got away with the ship still in tact.

“How long until we can get warp back online?” asked Janeway. 

“Torres says it will be a couple hours.” reported Kim.

“Tell her to make it her top priority.” ordered Janeway. “I also expect a damage report within the hour. That was the second attack in three days. We need to be ready in case they come back.” 

Then she turned to Chakotay. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” he said. It was more or less true.

Janeway frowned. “I won’t lie, I’m glad to have you up here. But remember it’s not just you you’re pushing by remaining on active duty.”

“One week, Captain. Once we’re out of Bay-Lahn space I’ll start my paternity leave.”

 

**38 weeks**

At first Chakotay thought it was the Braxton Hicks contractions still getting worse. Except nothing he did seemed to relieve it, and the frequency just kept increasing. It was when he noticed how regular they were becoming it occurred to him what was going on. 

“Not today.” he said out loud. “Any day but today.”

\--- 

Chakotay reached the sick bay just as the red alert went off and the ship began the shake under enemy fire.

On the bridge Janeway listened to the damage report with gritted teeth. She hailed Chakotay during a brief lull in the battle and was surprised when instead of Chakotay the Doctor answered. “Commander Chakotay has gone into labour, Captain. I’m afraid he won’t be able to make it.”

In front of her, Janeway saw the back of Paris’ neck go pale. “Understood.” she said as the ship shook again.

“And Captain, this is probably asking a lot, but I am trying to do surgery down here, so if you could keep the ship steady, I’d be grateful.”

Janeway couldn’t help a grin. “You heard the man.” she told Paris, resting her hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, ma’am.” said Paris, taking evasive maneuvers to avoid the Bay-Lahn ship’s phaser fire.

“Captain, there’s two more ships coming from the port side.” announced Kim.

“It would seem that the Bay-Lahn are very determined to prevent us from reaching Tansi space.” observed Tuvok.

Janeway agreed. “We’ve been in worse situations than this.” she told the bridge crew. “Ready weapons, wait for my order.”

\--- 

The red alert was flashing, and the ship seemed to shake every few minutes. But the Doctor continued to work steadily and patiently, doing something to Chakotay’s numbed stomach behind a sheet while he clenched his jaw and tried not to think about the battle going on just outside the sickbay walls.

“Please try and relax, Commander.” said the Doctor. “I will sedate you if I have to.”

The threat was effective and Chakotay started breathing deeply and focused on the birth. The Doctor had numbed his entire lower half and he couldn’t feel the labour contractions anymore, and all he could do was wait for the Doctor to his job while a nervous crewman he’d recruited at the last minute to replace Paris--ensign Collier, Chakotay thought his name was--stood by ready to hand the Doctor whatever he needed.

Another shake of the ship and the lights flickered. And then a baby started crying. Chakotay looked over to see the Doctor hand the tiny creature covered in blood and amniotic fluid over to Ensign Collier to clean while he cut the umbilical cord and finished up the surgery. 

Even the Doctor was grinning as he brought the tiny screaming baby, freshly cleaned, over to Chakotay to hold. Around him the ship still shook but Chakotay barely noticed as he held his daughter in his arms for the first time.

\--- 

“That last shot took out phasers.” called Kim.

“How much further until Tansi space?” asked Janeway.

“Fifteen minutes at our current speed.” said Paris.

“Captain, the remaining to Bay-Lahn ships are gaining on us. Estimated time to intercept five minutes.”

“Reroute all power from weapons to the warp drive and aft shields. Tom, give it everything you’ve got.” Janeway ordered. “Everyone find something to hold onto, this is going to be close.”

One of the Bay-Lahn ships managed to hit them again even from their distance.

“Shields at 21%.” announced Kim.

“The Bay-Lahn ships are 6 minutes from intercept.” announced Tuvok.

“We’re 8 minutes from the Tansi boarder.” announced Paris.

Another hit, another countdown.

The Bay-Lahn ship caught up to Voyager and fired off a few volleys.

“Engines are out.” called Kim. 

“We’re moving on pure inertia.” called Paris. Then “We’re dropping out of warp.”

“Can we still make the border?” Asked Janeway.

“We’re crossing it now.” said Paris, and just off their port side, three unknown vessels decloaked.

“The Tansi?” asked Kim.

“Oh God, I hope so.” said Janeway.

“They’re hailing.”

“On screen.”

The view screen lit up and a handful of very orange looking aliens appeared. “We’ve been told to expect you, Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager.” she said. “You are under our protection now.”

“Captain, the Bah-Lahn ships are moving off.” said Kim. “I think we’re safe.”

Janeway put her hand back on Paris’ shoulder. “I think we’re alright now. Why don’t you run down to sickbay.”

Paris was gone like a shot.

\--- 

The first thing Paris heard when he reached the sick bay was the sound of a crying baby. The Doctor took a brief break from cooing over the tiny wrapped up child in his arms to smile widely at Paris. “I’d like you to meet somebody.” he said. “Emily Jane Paris, meet your father.”

Paris took the baby carefully, making sure to support her fully in his folded arms. She was lighter than he expected, and seemed impossibly small and delicate despite the way her presence seemed to fill him. “Shhh. Shhh.” he said to her to help her stop crying. “I know.” he said in a soft voice. “It’s such a big scary new world, but it’ll be OK.”

She was absolutely beautiful, all scrunched up with her fists closed tight, and blotchy red and brown skin, and a wisp of black hair on top of her head. “Shhh.” Paris tried adjusting her again, and just like that she stopped crying and looking up at him with a pair of beautiful bright blue eyes.

“How’s Chakotay?” Paris asked in a soft voice, not willing to take his eyes off Emily.

“He’s doing well, despite your best efforts while we were delivering.” said the Doctor dryly motioning to a nearby biobed where he was asleep. Paris ignored the jab. “I gave him a sedative, I’m afraid he’ll be out for a few hours.”

Paris carried the baby over to Chakotay’s bed where he was sleeping peacefully, and it occurred to him how strange it was seeing him and the baby separated for the first time. Paris sat down beside him holding the baby and said, “You know, you really outdid yourself this time, Chakotay.”

And then, sitting there with the baby leaned up against his chest and Chakotay sleeping peacefully beside him, after the excitement on the bridge, Paris found he was exhausted. A moment later he'd drifted off to sleep.

\--- 

When Paris woke up again Emily was gone from his arms. At first he thought the Doctor had taken her back. He blinked and looked up, and saw a man in a blue uniform holding her and whispering softly to her, but it wasn’t the Doctor.

“Q!” He hit his combadge. “Paris to security, intruder alert. Q’s on board.”

“No one can hear you.” said Q impatiently. “Like I’d let us be interrupted.” It was about that point where Paris suddenly realised he couldn’t hear the engines anymore.

“What do you want Q?”

“Just admiring my handiwork.” he said looking down at the baby. Then to Emily he said in a baby voice, “Who’s a beautiful baby.”

“Your handiwork?” Paris hadn’t realised Chakotay was awake. He turned to see him propped up on his elbow looking seriously at Q.

“Alright, I suppose you did do some of the work.” Q allowed.

Chakotay snorted. 

“Alright,” said Paris, “You’ve seen her. Now you can go.”

“Don’t you all rush to thank me at once.”

“Thank you!?” It was Chakotay. “You can’t be serious.”

“Would you rather I took it all back?” asked Q.

Paris’ stomach jolted and he stood up not sure what he could do but ready for the worst.

But Chakotay stayed still. “That’s not funny.” he said in a low voice.

Q turned to Emily and said in a soft voice. “I really hope you don’t get stuck with your mother’s sense of humour.” He turned his attention back to Chakotay. “I gave you a real gift you know. It’s my understanding that it’s normally quite difficult for human males to get pregnant.”

“Well if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer it if it didn’t happen again.” said Chakotay.

“Oh you won’t have to worry about that. Now that I know you’ve abandoned poor Kathy to take up with the common people.” He looked deridedly at Paris. “What you possibly see in that washed-up pilot...”

“Hey! I’m standing right here.” Said Paris.

”Ew, it‘s trying to speak to me.” Q said to Chakotay, twisting up his face. “Though speaking of which, is there anyone Kathy’s had her eye on lately?” 

“We wouldn’t tell you even if there was.” said Chakotay evenly. 

Q considered that for a moment before smiling and saying “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. Well, even if you refuse to thank me, I hope you appreciate the gift I’ve given you. And I’ll be checking in to make sure it's well looked after.” He raised his hand but stopped just before he snapped his fingers. “And Chuckles, do try to smile every once in a while. This is a happy occasion!” And then he did snap his fingers.

A flash of light and the engines started up again. The Doctor was standing where Q had just been looking around confused, and Emily was in Chakotay’s arms while Chakotay, who was now sitting up, tried to calm her back down by talking softly to her and moving her into a more comfortable position. 

“What just happened?” asked Tom.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I think that may have been Q’s way of telling us congratulations.”

Chakotay didn’t take his eyes off the baby, and Paris leaned over and adjusted her blanket a bit. “Yeah, well I think next time I’d rather he just send a card.”

Chakotay grinned. “Never something so simple.”

In Chakotay’s arms, Emily started to calm down and pretty soon she was back to looking around the room in a strange sort of wonderment. 

“What a big day for her, coming into the world and having to deal with an obnoxious omnipotent alien all within just a few hours of existing.” commented Paris. 

“All par for the course on Voyager.” said Chakotay. “She’ll have some stories by the time we finally get back to the Alpha Quadrant.”

“Isn’t that the scary part?” 

“What do you mean?”

“That this is just the beginning.” Paris elaborated.

“Scary.” Chakotay agreed. “But I’m still looking forward to it.”

“Yeah.” Paris agreed. "I am too." He sat back down, this time on the side of the bed beside Chakotay and leaned up against him and let Emily grab his finger. Somewhere on the edge of his awareness, the Doctor continued his work in sickbay, and Voyager’s engines roared, carrying them off into something still completely unknown.


End file.
